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archive: news, thoughts and mixed feelings
2001-feb > 2005-oct

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28-oct-2005- yesterday was the day.

to be explained...
album now playing: mew - mew and the glass-handed kites
 
27-oct-2005- today has been the day.

to be explained...
album now playing: -
 
26-oct-2005- i was wrong.
tomorrow is the the day.

to be explained...
album now playing: coldplay - x & y
 
26-oct-2005- today is the the day.

to be explained...
album now playing: blood brothers - crimes
 
22-oct-2005yadayada update i feel the need to explain yesterdays outburst. to no one special and i don't know why really. maybe because it was just an outburst and i want to maintain an image of having my shit together.

everybody´s in the same mess, we all are. i´ll be the first to tell you i´m a mess. that god is dealing with me everyday. everyday i´m trying to learn how i can be less of a mess.
the words are lauryn hill's, spoken at her mtv unplugged concert to millions of viewers. so i'm in good company with not being on top of everything. however i sort of feel that right now it's time for me to be a bit of a mess. fast pace, loads of activity and the sense of great responsibility has maybe made me close the lid to my mess. and now is the time to open that lid and let my mess spill. and i do pray that god, my brothers and sisters in christ and my thinking and praying will sort out some of that mess. everything has it's time, now it's time to feel. to let the mess be what it is.

when i read what i've just written i feel that it's something that would make you give the writer the number to a shrink. but i don't feel down and out. i don't feel i have to talk things through. i just feel like venting. and besides that, i talk with larsa and olle all the time!

i should stop with asking myself am i to self conscious? *laughing like silly*
album now playing: the haunted - revolver
 
21-oct-2005yadayada well, i don't know if i should write in my condition. i have just seen the movie the notebook and i'm very mushy with romance heaving in my chest and tears drying on my cheeks.

i don't know if it's wise to write here but i'll do it anyway. cause it feels like my lungs are about to explode. i want to unload, i want to get things off my chest.

i so long to find someone to love and to be loved by. yes, that twosome heterosexual lifelong love that does not seem to be very popular in the magazines i read. page up and page down sharp writers attack the norm of what i long for. don't get me wrong, i believe in the freedome of choice and that all people should have legal protection no matter their sexual preferences. but it feels as if i am under attack for not being politicly correct. not that being politicly correct is one of my goals in life, but i do admit being sensitive to the trends of contemporary thinking. then again, who is not? anyway, i'm not gonna go further into that.

what i sometimes ask myself is what to do with the longing i have? i can't deny it. fully embracing it would make me even crazier than i am. so i wrestle with it. writing this is a wrestling round.

writing this is also the reflexive stretching after the round. with muscles sore and adrenaline high i compare myself to all the other wrestlers on the arena. we have the christian wrestlers ranging from conservative pred(estin)ators ("match made in heaven"), the celibat monks and nuns (the piously asexual and the molestors), joshua harris (author of "i kissed dating goodbye"), the very smart mainliners (with all the right words of wisdom to make your head nod automaticly as your heart sinks like in quicksand), john eldredge (author of "journey of desire") and everything in between. and there are plenty of non-religous wrestlers out there. to many to count, but they have left me many bruises.

here i sit and think of the girls i have liked, the girls i have dated, the girls i have gotten to know in that curious way of getting to know someone. i sit here and shake my head at the fun, silly, sad, awkward things that has happend. one thing that has never happend is for me to say "i love you". i have never had a girlfriend, never kissed, never explored mutual romantic love. it is something that makes my hope shrink at times and something that i, at times, am proud of in a world of cheap love.

i have had female friends tell me that i will make someone happy. i know it is meant as an encouragment and compliment, and i am thankful for them saying it, but it also frustrates me. where is this woman that i can lay down my life for and hopefully make happy?

i should probably not have written this. i will probably regret doing so. you will probably think that (a) i am stupid (b) i need to get laid (c) i should just calm down (d) i should be a more active player on the market (e) i should go out with your sister/friend/daugther/self (f) i need to embrace a queer mindset (g) i need to pray more (h) i should stop watch romantic movies (i) start playing rugby. but instead i will (j) go to bed!
album now playing: -
 
17-oct-2005new photos i just uploaded a nice little mix album in the photo gallery.
album now playing: cocorosie - noah's ark
 
12-oct-2005random and systemized i've not been writing an awful lot here lately. usually i feel bad for not doing so. not this time. i guess that reflects my current state of being. i'm a responsible person. the word duty is sounds positive rather than negative in my ears. my sense of duty has however brought me to exhaustion several times over the last year or so. i've come to a place where i've had to cut back on my ambitions, my involvement with volonteer work and my restless desire to develop and influence. after all, how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? (matthew 16:26)
so i try to relax. i try to withdraw a bit without giving into apathy and cynicism. it's going pretty well. this week and the next are a bit hectic. i got some assorted work to do and alot of stuff to read, but i believe it won't be too bad. so yeah, i'm sitting here without an ounce of guilt for not updating this website. of course it would be fun and great and all things positive to do so, but it's not the end of the world if i don't.

these last days has bathed in warm afternoon sun. yesterday i fixed my two crappy bikes in the backyard while letting the sun drench my body. i changed a tube and a tire on one bike. i changed a tube, the saddle and fitted a pump holder on the other. i'm very satisfied with myself.
today i enjoyed the sun while playing disc golf. i equalled my personal record on the hästhagen course and ate an orange. then i had dinner with the åhlen family and shoot some photos in the studio with david, i might upload a few of them here.
tomorrow i will study for the distance course in systematic theology that i'm taking. and i'm gonna have lunch with dad. should be sweet if only i can systemize my brain and get along with dr alister e. mcgrath and his book.

love to you my dear visitors!
album now playing: mew - mew and the glass-handed kites
 
06-oct-2005new photos photo gallery!!!!!!!!!!!!
album now playing: serena maneesh - serena-maneesh
 
28-sep-2005new photos m ella bruductif. amour fotos in le photo gallery!
album now playing: shitty euro dance
 
26-sep-2005new photos september mix in the photo gallery now!
album now playing: -
 
26-sep-2005melancholy i have hundreds of people i should send an e-mail. i have alot of friends around sweden i want to visit. i don't know how many fikas i've agreed on having with friends in örebro. this young girl confides me her darkness, the cutting of wrists and suicide attempts.

sometimes it feels like all i do is work, surf the internet and cruise on social waves of stimulation. where are my priorotized relationships, my being a trustworthy friend?

sometimes i want to be a caveman. i want to share my remote cave with a cavewoman and pick her lice. and i want to go to cave-heaven.
album now playing: blonde redhead - misery is a butterfly
 
22-sep-2005new photos rockstars! live! backstage! hot! in the photo gallery now!
album now playing: damien rice - o
 
14-sep-2005new photos check them out!
album now playing: queens of the stone age - lullabies to paralyze
 
06-sep-2005- linda rosing announces her giving up plastic surgery and nude posing in favour of being serious and paying taxes. (in swedish)
album now playing: josh rouse - 1972
 
04-sep-2005new photos i am pleased to introduce the new outdoor festivities album in the photo gallery.
album now playing: blindside - the great depression
 
26-aug-2005sic there are so many royal assholes out there. no biggie, the world is screwed up. what i don't understand is that an unproportionally large slew of 40+ christian men qualify for the title. pat robertson - tv-evangelist la grande - wants his america to assasinate hugo chavéz, president of venezuela. and then we have fred phelps - the pastor of a small baptist church in westoboro, america - who is full of hate. he is coming to sweden with a few of his hating friends. they are going to demonstrate with posters saying: "god hates sweden", "god hates fags" and "thank god for the tsunami". the last one giving away their view that the tsunami (because of the large numbers of swedes dying...eh, 500 of 300 000+) was a punishment from god on the swedish nation.
sometimes i'm pissed off. sometimes i'm sad. there is so much shit in the church. i'm real shitty as well, and i'm a part of the church, so it's not that i think that i'm much too perfect for church. it's just that the royal assholes often are so loud and obnoxious that they are scaring people away that are searching for spirituality, meaning and love.
album now playing: justin timberlake - justified
 
19-aug-2005new photos photos from my sisters wedding are eagerly waiting to light up your screen. they are waiting for you in the photo gallery.
album now playing: blindside - the great depression
 
18-aug-2005alive i'm alive despite the lack of updates here. i have been crazy busy with setting up the frizon festival that ended on the 14th of august. so now i'm not so busy anymore.
i have some frizon related stuff to do the coming days and then i have an interview lining up early next week. after that i'm pretty much free as a bird. all i know for this fall is that i'm going to study theology part-time. other then that i'm hoping to relax and visit friends. i have to work some to be able to pay bills but i don't have a job. i'm sure it'll work out one way or the other.
album now playing: ed harcourt - strangers
 
4-aug-2005new photos photos, new ones. in the photo gallery.
album now playing: v/a - annie's soft mix
 
30-jul-2005i am a feminist in the age of equality and sexual emancipation i can't help but think that women, and especially teenage girls, are subjuect to huge bondage and supression. we have the cosmetic and surgical transforming of the body in order to conform it to (different) ideals. we have the tongue piercing, that apart from fashion, are popular because it supposedly makes the venture of having ones dick sucked more pleasurable. we have the growing numbers of young teenage girls with anal incontinance (i.e. they shit themselves) because of anal sex. we have the accelarated physical and psycological self-contempt, self-disgust and self-hatred causing hygenic craze and people cutting themselves. (article in swedish written by a young girl who used to cut herself.)
i'm not into moralising because i believe that much of this so called freedom is a reaction to rules and moralising, often in the name of religon. however, i'm big on moral values. i believe that there are ways to live that are good for us and therefore also what god wants for us. i hope that people would start to guard their valueable beings. above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. (prov 4:23)
for years i have struggled with the term feminist and been unable to call myself one. not because i don't agree with feminism (which basically means equal rights between the sexes) but because it is such a heated issue and i don't believe in some of the feminists militant stances. but the longer i live, the more i see of unequality. and i'm not only talking equal wages and stuff. it's simple stuff like for example personal security. yesterday night i walked an older lady to her car after we had served coffee and cinnamon rolls on the streets with bullkyrkan. a few days ago i walked a friend to her door after a night out. it makes me mad to think of the supression of fear for violence and rape that so many women suffer from.
and this is only talking about sweden, supposedly the most equal country in the world. don't get me started about what goes on across the globe.
i cannot but call myself a feminist and try to extend equal rights and respect for women with my life. i cannot but ask for forgivness as to my active and passive contribution to the structural gender unequalities that are hurting billions of women across the world.
album now playing: norma jean - o god, the aftermath
 
21-jul-2005new photos stockholm and lauryn hill is in the photo gallery.
album now playing: basement jaxx - the singels
 
18-jul-2005new photos spankin new photos from three different occasions are just uploaded in the photo gallery.
album now playing: -
 
17-jul-2005- how come one could have such a rich life (on top of many things heading for eternity) and yet feel so miserable. it's the damnation of the reign of emptiness, the curse of reflexitivity.

i'm probably just tired.
album now playing: -
09-jul-2005hot, hot, heat sweden is very hot at the moment. for a coupple of days now it's been 30C (86F) which is really hot for being up in scandinavia. today i kickstarted the day joining hanna, karin, fredrik and joakim to an old limestone opencast mine remade into a lagunlike beach, pretty nice actually. after that i had lunch with fredrik and joakim and played some disc golf with them. now it's already 11pm and it feels like i just got up. the heat is totally confusing my perspective on time. which is actually pretty good i guess.
album now playing: norma jean - o god, the aftermath
 
09-jul-2005word As We Forgive Our Debtors - Bono of U2

Now, for all its failings and its perversions over the last 2,000 years and as much as every exponent of this faith has attempted to dodge this idea it is unarguably the central tenet of Christianity: that everybody is equal in God's eyes. So you cannot, as a Christian, walk away from Africa. America will be judged by God if, in its plenty, it crosses the road from 23 million people suffering from HIV, the leprosy of the day.

What's up on trial here is Christianity itself. You cannot walk away from this and call yourself a Christian and sit in power. Distance does not decide who is your brother and who is not. The church is going to have to become the conscience of the free market if it's to have any meaning in this world and stop being its apologist.

album now playing: my chemical romance - three cheers for sweet revenge
 
04-jul-2005back to work i just came back from a few days vacation in oslo. it's been really nice to get away from work and örebro and sweden for a little while. to have a change of enviroment and social setting. nothing wrong with what i have back here in örebro, quite the opposite. it's just nice with some variation.
i did nothing useful in oslo, just tried to relax and enjoy the great company. thanx to the people that hosted me and to everybody that i've met!
tomorrow i start working again and now i have seven weeks with a lot of work before i can relax again. that is when the frizon festival is over and cleaned up after. positive vibes and prayers sent my way will be much appreciated.
album now playing: prodigy - always outnumbered, never outgunned
 
04-jul-2005new photos ...in the photo gallery.
album now playing: prodigy - always outnumbered, never outgunned
 
30-jun-2005new photos yesterday i shook bottoms with a small number of people at a really cool private house party at the örebro castle prison dungeons. check out photos from that night and a chill time with my house church in two new albums just uploaded in the photo gallery.
album now playing: basement jaxx - the singles
 
25-jun-2005new photos just came back from a very fun and relaxed midsummers thingie at a friends cottage nearby. some fun photos now reside in the photo gallery.
album now playing: ed harcourt - strangers
 
24-jun-2005örtberg i've been squashed. i've been annihilated. or at least my rebellios, hardened, independent heart has. it is god's love that has brought me to the edge of myself. where are my attitudes taking me? what path am i trodding?
like so many times before i'm faced with the reality of my condition. i'm sinner in desperate need of grace - love for no reason, forgiveness for no reason, relationship for no reason.
god, i love you more than anything.
now playing: torpkonferensen live broadcast
 
23-jun-2005frustration what the fudge is going on with my bikes? i have two pretty ordinary bicycles. the reason for having two is that always get flat tires and don't always have the time to fix them straight away. in the last year i've probably had 15 flat tires.
a coupple of weeks ago one of the bikes broke down. the other had a flat tire so i've been walking until this morning when i fixed the tire. twenty minutes ago the tire exploded so loud i heard it in my apartment. i just knew it was my bike, ran to the window and saw that the tire was flat. mysterious explosions without reasonable explanations is not new. i've even got new tires from the store where i've bought them cause they can't explain the explosions. so i'm without a bike again and i don't know if i wanna waste more time on the sucker that just exploded it's loathing all over my heart and patience.
to top that off janne beat me at tennis again. but this time it was a really even game and i was only two serves from winning. the score came out this way 7-5, 5-7, 7-6.
album now playing: sixstarhotel - these rosewood theories
 
23-jun-2005;-) some people just go on and on about what music they think is best. stubbornly they nag about this and that band with this and that album. well, i'm a very weak person so i usually have to try it out. it's a crazy (parallel) universe i live in.
album now playing: simple plan - still not getting any
 
22-jun-2005no drumroll yesterday night efter i wrote the photo gallery counter post i ate the sandwich, but my lazy ass skipped the dishes. so my kitchen is still pretty messy.
i just came back from the tennis court with aching hips. i don't know why my hips ache, but they do. guys usually have disappearingly small hips and i'm no exception. but i've discovered and made contact with my hips on the dancefloor over the last year or so. so maybe the newly experienced pain comes from the pain nerves in my hips having an established connection with my brain for the first time.
sadly janne won over me with 6-1, 6-4. but that son of a cheater had practiced since our last game one year ago.
i've had the morning of and now it's time for a shower, some lunch and work until dusk.
album now playing: in flames - soundtrack to your escape
 
21-jun-2005*drumroll* my photo gallery counter just hit 100 000 views. and that does not include all the photos viewed with the slideshow feature. it's totally cool with me if you want to view the photos slideshow stylee. but be aware that you are deprived of the possibility to:
-read the image title and description
-read the comments
-post comments
so my advice is to view the photos individually and use the fantastic comment feature.

anyway, i'm gonna celebrate this with eating a nice sandwich and do some washing up.
album now playing: -
 
19-jun-2005may the farm be with you i've heard about it from many sources, but it is not until now that i've watched the thrilling store wars episode X. you gotta see it.
album now playing: muse - absolution
 
19-jun-2005new photos two new albums. in the gallery. now.
album now playing: daler mehndi - the best of daler mehndi the king of bhangra
 
19-jun-2005hultsfred update i'm back. i'm tired. i met nice people. i didn't see one full show. i danced like crazy to the chris liebling dj-set. i met einar. i looked at famous people and wannabees in the backstage area. i broke my monopod. i'm tired. i'm back.
album now playing: beanfield - seek
 
17-jun-2005hultsfred i'm writing this from the hultsfred festival press center. i'm here writing and shooting photography. have seen slipknot, marilyn manson, m.i.a., mars volta, tori amos and robyn and more. i'm not running around seeing all the bands, it's not worth it. you might miss some shows, but the ones you catch are usually more worthwhile. anyways, photos from the festival and from the silence the foe bonanza will be up in a few days.
album now playing: black eyed peas - elephunk
 
11-jun-2005practice solidarity, you sellouts i can't even begin to comprehend the swedish government immigrant policies. their practices is even more absurd. i try to understand how they think, but can't. i don't wanna hear more of your empty words. for cryin' out loud, barbo holmgern and göran persson, listen to the huge petition påskuppropet and do something about it!
*******, *****, ***** and ***** - i so hope and pray that you can stay in sweden.
album now playing: slipknot - vol. 3: the subliminal verses
 
11-jun-2005new photos there is a new album in the photo gallery.
album now playing: deftones - deftones
 
11-jun-2005fantastic tuesday will be fantastic. for some reason (ehhh, me i guess) the norwegian hardcore band silence the foe will make their one and only swedish stop in örebro while on their european tour. silence the foe is wild live shows, delicate production, controversial videos and music that they themselves call feminin trendcore.
click here for more information!
album now playing: samuel ljungblahd - samuel ljungblahd
 
07-jun-2005phenomenal last post was not personal. it was phenomenal. it was about a trend, a culture, a phenomenon.
album now playing: ed harcourt - strangers
 
04-jun-2005fire and brimstone what the hell is the world coming to? i'm frustrated and sad. the christian kiddos where i live are loosing it. after a - in itself very nice - night out yesterday i was once again made aware of the shit that is going on.

so who am i to point my finger? i'm not in a position of judging anyone, i have no decency, achievment and righteousness that i can merit myself of. but the thing is that i firmly believe that judgement will come. because there is so much evil in this world, there is so much pain and agony. and it's gotta stop. all the wrongs gotta be judged to be put behind. and in that courtroom i have nothing to merit myself, just as little as hitler or mother theresa. my merit is in that i belong to the one who already took my punishment, jesus christ who died for me. suck it up, i believe in judgement - for the sake of restoration.

anyways, after my little creed i'll get back to what i was originally writing about. the christian kiddos loosing it in the arms of relativity and pleasure. okey, i enjoy going out, a bit of dancing, smoking a cigarette and at times even having a glass of wine. but i've read in the bible about not getting drunk, i've read about moderation. i've done the math of cause and effect, actions do have consequences. you gotta be aware of what's happening. it's a fucking battle out there. satan is going berserk over some human flesh and mind to devour. as the book of proverbs insist guard your heart, it's the wellspring of life. so don't get drunk, don't build your life on partying, don't let your tongue slip down someones throat and most of all - love god above all.

i'm not as cocky as paul, but i'd like to make paul's words my own:
And now a personal but most urgent matter; I write in the gentle but firm spirit of Christ. I hear that I'm being painted as cringing and wishy-washy when I'm with you, but harsh and demanding when at a safe distance writing letters. Please don't force me to take a hard line when I'm present with you. Don't think that I'll hesitate a single minute to stand up to those who say I'm an unprincipled opportunist. Then they'll have to eat their words. The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way - never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.

keith green was a no comprimise type person. often too harsh and black-and-white, but he gave alot of people healthy kicks in the ass. here comes a song of his that deals with christians being asleep in the light. but i think this song could be a good read for the aformentioned people sleepwalking in the dawn.
turn your headlights on and drive towards the sunrise!

Do you see, do you see
All the people sinking down
Don't you care, don't you care
Are you gonna let them drown

How can you be so numb
Not to care if they come
You close your eyes
And pretend the job's done

Oh bless me Lord, bless me Lord
You know it's all I ever hear
No one aches, no one hurts
No one even sheds one tear

But He cries, He weeps, He bleeds
And He cares for your needs
And you just lay back
And keep soaking it in,
Oh, can't you see it's such a sin?

Cause He brings people to you door,
And you turn them away
As you smile and say,
God bless you, be at peace
And all heaven just weeps
Cause Jesus came to you door
You've left him out on the streets

Open up open up
And give yourself away
You see the need, you hear the cries
So how can you delay

God's calling and you're the one
But like Jonah you run
He's told you to speak
But you keep holding it in,
Oh can't you see it's such a sin?

The world is sleeping in the dark
That the church just can't fight
Cause it's asleep in the light
How can you be so dead
When you've been so well fed
Jesus rose from the grave
And you, you can't even get out of bed

Oh, Jesus rose from the dead
Come on, get out of your bed

How can you be so numb
Not to care if they come
You close your eyes
And pretend the job's done
You close your eyes
And pretend the job's done

Don't close your eyes
Don't pretend the jobs done
Come away, come away, come away with Me my love,
Come away, from this mess, come away with Me, my love.
album now playing: zao - where blood and fire bring rest
 
02-jun-2005new photos whoot! new album in the photo gallery.
album now playing: robyn - robyn
 
01-jun-2005- i have everything and nothing to write.
album now playing: koma - tsunami
 
28-may-2005letting go i just watched magnolia for the first time.

*pause*

to me it's a very beautiful and painful movie. it connects with my own thoughts and feelings. i can relate to the characters in a powerful way.

*long pause*

i don't know what to write. my thoughts are restless. my heart is aching. my eyes are shiny. but just like claudia does in the movie, i end this broadcast from planet earth with a smile.
album now playing: maria solheim - frail
 
28-may-2005letting go i havn't written anything here in more than a month. sure, i've uploaded photos, but i havn't really written anything. and that while it's not even two months since i wrote that i wish that i'd write longer and more frequent entries. so what has happend?
well, lately i've been able to relax from the unhealthy workload and sense of responsibilty and duty that has pushed me a little to hard over the last years, especially during the year 2004. and i think that letting go (which really started in november 2004, but came to a turning point of sorts in april when i decided to drasticly cut down on my comittment to speak, while definitely not abandoning it altogether) has left me tired from letting all the built up tension come out.
so i've been tired, sleeping away til late and not updating this site. there is, however, hope for the future. lots of it.
album now playing: the haunted - revolver
 
22-may-2005new photos i just uploaded a mix album in the photo gallery.
album now playing: tool - undertow
 
15-may-2005new photos i just uploaded two real nice albums in the photo gallery.
album now playing: -
 
13-may-2005new photos there is now a new album in the photo gallery.
album now playing: my chemical romance - three cheers for sweet revenge
 
08-may-2005new photos i just came back from a very nice retreat, thanx to the åhlen family and all the other ppl. some of the photos i took are now uploaded to an album in the photo gallery.
album now playing: prodigy - always outnumbered, never outgunned
 
06-may-2005new photos a new album with rave and disc golf photos now sits in the photo gallery.
album now playing: slipknot - iowa
 
27-apr-2005new photos there is a new album with cute boys and blindside live photos in the photo gallery.
album now playing: nine inch nails - with teeth
 
21-apr-2005live i'm exiiiiiiiiiited. i'm gonna see so much good live performances this spring and summer. first blindside and further seems forever at subscene oslo, norway. then mars volta, slipknot, tori amos, timbuktu, robyn, m.i.a, mastodon, mew and cult of luna plus a whole range of other artists at the hultsfred festival. my highest expectations are set on the the 19th of july when lauryn hill are performing at the stockholm jazz festival. of course there will be some fantastic music at the frizon festival as well, we are releasing some exiting bookings over the coming weeks.
album now playing: norma jean - o god, the aftermath
 
19-apr-2005lifelines i'm feeling much better and i've made efforts to clear my scheduele in order not to become sick and stressed out again. wish me luck!
album now playing: innocence mission - glow
 
19-apr-2005new photos after a long time with no photo updates there's now a spanking new album in the photo gallery.
album now playing: innocence mission - glow
 
12-apr-2005deadlines at which one will my corpse fall to the ground?
still sicker than a brats ass.
album now playing: -
 
10-apr-2005smitten with disease i'm sick again. i don't wanna be sick. i don't have the time to be sick. anyway, blonde redhead are soooooo good.
album now playing: blonde redhead - misery is a butterfly
 
08-apr-2005writing i wish this was more of a proper blog. with long and more frequent entries. i wish i'd write more beautifully.
album now playing: badly drawn boy - one plus one is one
 
08-apr-2005brutal honesty i just read the personal, provocative and encouraging story of the real live preacher. a good read for everybody doubting at times. or all the time.
album now playing: norma jean - o god, the aftermath
 
08-apr-2005i love palindromes Swap God for a janitor? Rot in a jar of dog paws!
A Santa lived as a devil at NASA.
A Santa dog lived as a devil god at NASA.
A car, a man, a maraca.
A dog! A panic in a pagoda!
Age, irony, Noriega.
All erotic, I lose my lyme solicitor, Ella.
Dammit, I'm mad!
Desserts I desire not, so long no lost one rise distressed.
Did I do, O God, did I as I said I'd do? Good, I did!
Do Good's deeds live on? No, Evil's deeds do, O God.
Ed, I saw Harpo Marx ram Oprah W. aside.
Egad! No bondage!
Eros? Sidney, my end is sore!
Eve damned Eden, mad Eve.
"Naomi," I moan.
Niagara, O roar again.
Party boobytrap.
Red rum is Pepsi murder.
Satan, oscillate my metallic sonatas!
Sun at noon, tan us.
Yo Bob, mug a gumbo boy!
Yo! Banana Boy!
Yo, Bottoms up! (U.S. motto, boy.)
Won't lovers revolt now?
Tulsa night life: filth, gin, a slut.
Taco cat.
We few.
Kayak.
album now playing: chariot - everything is alive, everything is bleeding, nothing is dead and nothing is bleeding
 
03-apr-2005new photos finally! after a long time with no photo updates there are now two new albums in the photo gallery.
album now playing: andreas tilliander - world industries
 
03-apr-2005quotas i took two online IQ-tests. i don't know if these tests tell you that you are smarter then you really are, but the supposedly reliable tests at tickle gave me 133 (the standard one) and 147 (the in-depth one). so i'm really smart!
then i took their dating test. i scored pretty bad, which was not a suprise judging by my great success in staying single. so i'm really lonely!
album now playing: andreas tilliander - world industries
 
24-mar-2005better and dead i've almost recorved and i'm feeling much better. i've worked some this week and i no longer have a fever, but my nose and throat is still not fully cooperating.
my computer continues to be dead as a rock as it has been for two plus weeks. so if you're not getting a reply to your e-mail it might have something to do with the fact that things are messed up when it comes to my digital existence. i hope to sort things out in a couple of weeks.
album now playing: -
 
23-mar-2005amelie from montmartre *** **** ***** *** *** ******. *** **** *********** *** ********* ****** *** *** *** ******* ***** ****. **** *** *** ***. *** ** ** ****** ****** ********. *** *** * *** *****, ******** *******.
album now playing: -
 
17-mar-2005changes i 've made some pretty big changes to my page on music, some lesser changes to the one on me and my linkpage.
album now playing: -
 
17-mar-2005funny book title i think i'd have a laugh reading this book.
album now playing: -
 
17-mar-2005sick again i'm sick again, really sick. i don't know what attitude to have. i do feel like shit, i have a fever, by body hurts, i'm drained of energy and my throat and nose are fucked up.
so should i feel sorry for myself? or should i make this an oppurtunity to sympathise with thoose who are worse off than me? thoose with cronic diseases, thoose who are sick AND fleeing for their lives AND grieving a lost parent AND being tormented by depression.
i live such a privileged life, i pray for humbleness and the right mind to use my privileges for the greater good.
thanx and adoration goes out to god.
album now playing: botch - we are the romans
 
09-mar-2005new photos i just uploaded a rock'n'roll photo album in the photo gallery.
album now playing: crimson moonlight - veil of remembrance
 
07-mar-2005new photos two new albums with wild dancing now reside in the photo gallery.
album now playing: maria solheim - frail
 
07-mar-2005tired i'm no longer sick but i still feel a bit drained of energy. this week will not exactly be relaxing. regluar work + insane amounts of metal + several articles to go along with the insane metal + speaking at a church. woah!
album now playing: timbuktu - alla vill till himlen men ingen vill dö
 
02-mar-2005sick i've been sick for nine days now. it sucks.
album now playing: -
 
24-feb-2005hultsfred i've been to the hultsfred festival twice and lately i've been thinking about visiting the much bigger and generally better roskilde festival this summer - if i can get time off during the summer. but then hultsfred makes the most outrageous bookings and i really hope that i'll wind up there instead. who can resist a line-up with slipknot and system of a down and about 85% of the bands still to book. well, maybe there are someone that can the resist the aformentioned bands, but i'm not sure i can.
album now playing: black eyes peas - elephunk
 
23-feb-2005back i'm back from london
i'm feverish and tired
and i'm back from london

after several nights of sleeping on church floors
after sleeping in an airport hall and on the streets of london
after sleeping on the floor of natasha bedingfields assistant's flat
after six nights away the thought of my bed is wondersome
album now playing: extol - the blueprint dives
 
23-feb-2005new photos two new albums from london, uk now sits in the photo gallery.
album now playing: extol - the blueprint dives
 
16-feb-2005assorted first we heard music. then we saw moving lights. we entered an empty room and followed the stairs to the next floor. we were suddely in the middle of the middle of a private party for the employees of halv trappa plus gård and halv grek plus turk with free drinks and more karaoke than healthy.

he's sweet, my namesake with fear of germs. thank you for lunch!

it's about bloody time. give us one hour and we will give you screaming fans.

she was drunk and they were nasty. real nasty. i wanted to tell them off, but i didn't want to be beat up, so i acted as her boyfriend and saved her from thoose assholes.

did ya taste that boy
that blood is as sweet as wine
yeah i got it on me all the time - 16 horsepower

what a trick, the one-hand-action-match-lightning-manover.

sleep. beep. washing machine. phonecalls. london.
album now playing: -
 
15-feb-2005new photos four new albums now reside in the photo gallery.
album now playing: -
 
9-feb-2005new photos it is live. it is electronica. it is a new album in the photo gallery.
album now playing: andreas tilliander - world industries
 
4-feb-2005dramAmaze i turn to others experiences
i dive into visual stories
i explore a maze marked by many forerunners
but i find no assurance, no certainty

as i rest in my pursiut i see the obvious
there is no assurance to be found
certainty is unknown in this realm
it is the land of the ambigouos

as my legs rest achingly from the long quest
i move beyond the ugly faces of my own fear
another maze, with no forerunners

somehow, although i can't see further than an arms length
i perceive myself completing this one
dead or alive, i do not know

album now playing: v/a - the soundtrack of amelie from montmarte
 
3-feb-2005new photos there's a new album in the photo gallery.
album now playing: a perfect circle - emotive
 
28-jan-2005new photos there's a new album in the photo gallery.
album now playing: the strokes - s/t
 
26-jan-2005åke green ibland är han kanske lite väl hård, men jag håller med det magnus tunehag skriver i sin artikel om åke greens predikan om homosexualitet.
album now playing: -
 
24-jan-2005new photos i just uploaded two albums in the photo gallery. soon there will be another album from last weekend.
album now playing: -
 
24-jan-2005*sigh* life is back in full swing again. hopefully i'll avoid the worst motion sickness.
album now playing: -
 
15-jan-2005lost in age levitation my dad just turned 50 years old. today we had a party and here you can download a photo exhibition called "shy bert - 50 years with a living legend": pdf-document 2.5MB
album now playing: teddybears sthlm - fresh
 
5-jan-2005lost in translationmy sister is the bomb. well, my whole family, including my other sister hanna, are the bomb. but right now ida-marie sports the highest level of bombdiggetyness. she's in colombia translating for an aid organisation. or really she's all over south america translating from swedish to spanish and back again.
i just got an e-mail from her where she writes about getting lost and after walking and walking ending up in brazil. she has also been to peru and her tales of travelling on the amazon and other rivers in the djungle are really amazing. they're going to different villages with little known indian tribes building stuff and helping out with health clinics and what not. wow!
album now playing: damien rice - o
 
5-jan-2005new photos the years first two albums are up in the photo gallery.
album now playing: damien rice - o
 
2-jan-2005sheesh i'm blown away. first i watched the very, very, very wierd movie, the nine lives of tomas katz. it is a very strange movie and right now i love the strangeness of it. it's surreal and contains end-time references. it's full of mystic and religous imagery. it's humorous and it reflects our age and it's quirks.

then the song how does it make you feel by air came up on my playlist. and sheesh, that song knew where to hit me.
album now playing: air - 10,000 hz legend
 
2-jan-2005this year 2005 just might prove to be the year.
album now playing: prodigy - always outnumbered, never outgunned
 
1-jan-2005new photos a new album in the photo gallery.
album now playing: chevelle - wonder what's next
 
1-jan-2005last year my 2004 (5mb pdf-file)
album now playing: deftones - white pony
 
30-dec-2004thoughts on the tsunami and suffering the following swedish text is an excerpt from a letter i wrote to a friend earlier today.


ja, det är hemskt, det som har hänt i bengaliska viken. jag hade en vän som var där när tsunamin kom. oscar var där med sin fru karolina. men de är hemma i sverige och vid liv. men örebro var rätt hårt drabbat och på håll finns det några som blivit drabbade. en av mammas jobbarkompisars fru är t ex borta.

jag förstår att det är jobbigt att bli medveten om det lidande och den nöd som människor får utstå. jag förstår att du blir berörd, förvirrad och sorgsen. för mig är det lite annorlunda. inte så att jag inte har medkänsla för alla som förlorar sina nära och kära. inte så att jag inte själv har oroat mig för oscar eller att andra man känner skulle kunna vara drabbade. men katastrofen som sådan påverkar mig inte så mycket. jag tänkte förklara hur jag tänker och känner. vill eller orkar du inte läsa behöver du absolut inte.

===

perspektiv 1: "lidande är en del av tillvaron" och "mänskiligheten är inte sig själv nog"

lidande är en del av den mänskliga tillvaron efter syndafallet. jordens harmoni rubbades och människan hamnade på många sätt i konflikt med naturen. rovdjur, giftiga djur och växter hotar människans välbefinnande.

men inte nog med djuren, också virus och bakterier - mikroorganismerna - började bryta ner jorden. det verkar som jorden allt mer förstörs, som om sjukdomen håller oss allt mer i sitt grepp. dödliga influensor, cancer, aids, ebolavirus osv plågar människans leverne.

de stora naturkrafterna rubbades i syndafallet och jordbävningar, översvämmningar, tornados förstörde den paradisiska tillvaron människan hade njutit av tidigare.

lidande, oförutsägbarhet och död är en del av den mänskliga tillvaron. när estonia sjönk ropade aftonbladet ut på sina löpsedlar "gud, var är du?". när livet inte rullar på, när man inte lyckas bygga sitt perfekta liv, när man inte känner sig odödlig. då ropar vi utbildade, självständiga, kapabla människor på gud. vi har tidigare struntat i gud, i vetenskapens namn dödförklarat honom, i högmodets förblindelse utropat mänskligheten till Herre.

händelser som denna är ett välbehövligt tillnyktrande från mänsklighetens självdyrkansrus. visst är det oerhört tragiskt på individnivå. förlamande sjukt åt helvete smärtsamt tragiskt. men för mänskligheten är det nyttigt. iaf det kaxiga västerländska samhället som med vetenskap, varningssystem, ekonomisk tillväxt och konsumtion tror att den är sig själv nog, tror att den är odödlig, tror att människan är Herre över livet.

===

perspektiv 2: "det konstanta lidandet" och "det av människan åsamkade lidandet"

det finns konstant ett oerhört stort lidande på vår planet. ett exempel: 30 000 barn yngre än fem år dör VARJE DAG av svält och sjukdomar som går att bota. anledningen: dålig fördelning. på jorden finns idag resurser för att INGEN ska behöva svälta, det skulle kunna gå att rädda många som dör av enkla sjukdomar. men den rika världen är så bedövad, så självcentrerad, så blind, så egoistisk. det finns ett enormt lidande varje dag, konstant, hela tiden, jämt, närsomhelt. det är orsakat av mänsklighetens oförmåga att ha öppna ögon och ett mjukt hjärta.

om någon som har vad han behöver här i världen ser sin broder lida nöd men stänger sitt hjärta för honom, hur kan då guds kärlek förbli i honom? mina barn, låt oss inte älska med tomma ord utan med handling och sanning. 1 Joh 3:17-18

30 000 barn under fem år per dag. det blir 11 miljoner småbarn per dag. som dör pga att jag vill kunna leva ett bekvämt liv, slippa bry mig om omvärlden, inte orkar se elände, är egoistisk, vill kunna konsumera precis som jag vill. det är OERHÖRT mycket värre för mig med 11 miljoner döda småbarn pga av mänskligt skit än med 120 000 döda av en tsunami. eller är det kanske bara de kanske 2000-3000 döda svenskarna vi bryr oss om?

===

mer tankar om min syn på fattigdom, lidande, rättvisa, gud och ansvar finns i en debattartikel (word-dokument) jag skrev i EFKs interna tidning EFK-direkt i somras.

detta är ABSOLUT inga färdiga formuleringar och tankar, men det är vad som spontant hände när jag satte mig ner för att tänka-med-tangentbordet. min medkänsla och mina förböner går till alla som förlorat någon i tsunamikatastrofen. men också till dem som får lida för min och västvärldens blinda egoism.

gud förbarma dig.
 
album now playing: maria solheim - frail
 
28-dec-2004bay of bengal disaster i was very happy to get a text message to my mobile phone earlier today. it was from my friend oscar who has been in malaysia. they came back to sweden today. he and his wife was not hit by the wave but are in an area affected by it.
if you want to help the poor peoples of the devastated bay of bengal there are many aid organisations working in the area. here are links to two swedish ones that i trust.
efk > info om katastrofarbete
diakonia > info om katastrofarbete > kontokortsbetalning på nätet
album now playing: stina nordenstam - the world is saved (is it?)
 
28-dec-2004christmas i'm not a big fan of christmas traditions. santas, food, lots of food, excessive amounts of food, christmas decorations, christmas trees and so on. don't get me wrong, i love christmas as in celebrating the birth of jesus. but i'm not very found of the knick-knacks surroundig this celebration.
all the christmas decorations in my flat has been given to me. i have a pair of brass angels and a christmas flower arrangement that my grandfather has given me. this year i got some myrrah incense cones from a friend. that's a pretty authentic christmas present, myrrah was given to jesus by some travelling astrologists right after his birth.
inspired by buy nothing christmas my family skipped christmas presents last year. this year we decided to give something to eachother. but no expensive stuff. we wanted to put thought and creativity to the gifts rather than money.
thank you jesus for coming to our planet. thank you for the blueprint of life.
album now playing: mark lanegan - bubblegum
 
18-dec-2004new photos two new albums in the photo gallery.
album now playing: v/a - disco kandi 4
 
11-dec-2004nothing really having a real chill day. just came home from my folks place, luv 'em. it was nice and laid back.
album now playing: angie stone - stone love
 
07-dec-2004new photos two new albums in the photo gallery.
album now playing: eminem - encore
 
29-nov-2004new photos two new albums in the photo gallery.
album now playing: stina nordenstam - the world is saved
 
28-nov-2004 on the 22nd of november i started having six weeks off. that's why it takes time for me to answer e-mails, that's why my mobile might be switched off, that's why i will be energetic and recharged by the 3rd of january.
album now playing: -
 
28-nov-2004 i've finished "tuesdays with morrie". didn't cry one single tear while reading the last bit although it was just as emotional. still thought it was really good, still felt impacted.
album now playing: -
 
27-nov-2004 as the bus pass by jönköping i start to read "tuesdays with morrie". the simple but touching and profound true story really hits me. from the first page it strikes a chord my inner being sways to and i cry almost the entire three hour trip. i know that i can be sensitive, but i'm surprised by the strong emotional response i give to mitch alboms story of how the teaching and friendship of morrie schwartz affected his life. as i reach malmö, which is my destination, i close the book with one-third left to read.
morrie, mitch and i will meet again tomorrow.
album now playing: -
 
16-nov-2004new photos a new album in the photo gallery.
album now playing: slipknot - vol 3 > the subliminal verses
 
14-nov-2004 a little more then a month ago i met a man who wondered about the domain adress of my website. he is certainly not the first one. i told him that longing is a major theme in my life and something that i find undergirthing so much of our lives as human beings.

he said that he thought love and fear to be the two major grandeurs of life. i willingly agree that those are two powerful driving forces in the whole of human existence.

there is no room in love for fear. well-formed love banishes fear. since fear is crippling, a fearful life - fear of death, fear of judgment - is one not yet fully formed in love. 1 john 4:18

personally i tend to experience life as centered around longing. fear and love then become arenas for that longing.

==

the words drives deep
like arrows they forcefully makes their way to pockets of burried feelings
tears wet my beard as i read, as i share her pain
i so want her to be happy, i so long to be happy

==

i lit up
the street is calm
the sensitive voice of emil svanängen is making me company

i love the energy of rock
i love the massiveness of metal and hardcore
i love the beats of hip-hop
but nothing competes with the bittersweat presence of melancholic indie.
thom yorke, david åhlen, chris martin, jan jämte and lately emil svanängen of loney, dear and särla fuel my sense of life's scorching reality.
their fragile voices soothes the burns of meaningfulness.
their falsetto heals the rashes of meaninglessness.

album now playing: loney, dear - loneydear citadel band ep
 
13-nov-2004new photos i just uploaded three new albums from tonight in the photo gallery. i really like the ones with me jumping really high.
album now playing: -
 
11-nov-2004ache my body hurts from yesterdays playing floor hockey with the team that won the swedish ultimate championship this year. after a few minutes i was exhausted, after two hours i was dead.
album now playing: strapping young lad - SYL
 
10-nov-2004new photos a new album from norrland in the photo gallery.
album now playing: -
 
03-nov-2004new photos i just uploaded a new album in the photo gallery. please consider commenting on the photos!
album now playing: -
 
03-nov-2004 lookintomyweirdobrain.com (nopleasedont.tk)

ratemyindecisiveness.net (highorlowfastorslow.gov)

listenandwatchthewalkidiotwalk.se (givethekidalolly.edu)

thisispoetry.org (upmyass.nu)

album now playing: -
 
01-nov-2004test test your political disposition at www.politicalcompass.org

my results positioned me more to the left than i thought it would. and left of the position i still believe i hold. maybe because of the focus on international trade politics. anyway, here are my results:
economic left/right: -4.50
social libertarian/authoritarian: -4.46

take the test and write your results in my guestbook or post and discuss them at this forum (in swedish).
album now playing: 50 cent - guess who's back
 
31-oct-2004 it aches. it squeles.

unsatisfied yearning.
bitter, foul taste of squeling scarcity.
dry, lingering taste of numbing ache.

what is meant to be?
what just is?

pathetic and not at all.

album now playing: natasha bedingfield - unwritten
 
31-oct-2004new photos two new albums are up in the photo gallery. please consider commenting on the photos!
album now playing: stina nordenstam - the world is saved
 
29-oct-2004buske is it insecurity that makes the most powerful man in the world say that either you're with us (as in u.s.) or you can fuck off? [movieclip, takes time to load]
album now playing: slipknot - iowa
29-oct-2004yummy it's amazing how tasty cheese/honey sandwiches and hot chocolate can be.
album now playing: slipknot - iowa
28-oct-2004sleep sleep is getting better, thanx for the caring messages i've got.
album now playing: -
24-oct-2004new photos four new albums are up in the photo gallery. please consider commenting on the photos!
album now playing: -
24-oct-2004i'm dead tired it's in the middle of the night and i can't sleep although i really am dead tired from the last two weeks of work. well, i'm off to bed for another try. wish me luck!
album now playing: -
18-oct-2004i'm tired album now playing: loney, dear - loneydear citadel band ep
15-oct-2004new photos a new album is up in the photo gallery.
album now playing: -
11-oct-2004crazy i can't beleive that i'm in the middle of a tornado of work again. i thought i had learned not to end up here.
maybe i'm not in the middle, they say that in the very center of a tornado it is very peaceful. the eye of the storm is calm.
where i'm at things are not calm. but the end of november looks promising.
album now playing: -
06-oct-2004new photos photos with a finish accent uploaded in the photo gallery.
album now playing: -
26-sept-2004party i've been to two parties today. first my uncle's all day birthday event which was nice. good food, lots of laughter and great people.
then tonight i went to a party thrown by two magazines which was pretty nice. i knew nobody (but recognised faces of semi-famous people) and danced like mad to wierd ethnic music.
now i'm real tired. good night.
album now playing: -
26-sept-2004new photos one tiny and one big album uploaded in the photo gallery.
album now playing: -
25-sept-2004- bäst före datum på texten som tidigare fanns här gick ut. texten är borta.
album now playing: pedro the lion - winners never quit
23-sept-2004 former us senate chaplain richard halverson said this:
christianity began in galilee as a fellowship of men and women centred on jesus christ. it went to greece and became a philosophy; it went to rome and it became an institution; it went to europe and it became a culture it came to america and became an enterprise.
i say:
so true.
album now playing: the hives - tyrannosaurus hives
22-sept-2004new photos a tiny album uploaded in the photo gallery.
album now playing: dizzee rascal - showtime
22-sept-2004bookfair tomorrow morning i'm off to the bookfair. lovely.
album now playing: audioslave - audioslave
21-sept-2004bookfair in a few days i'm off to bok- och biblioteksmässan in gothenburg, swedens largest bookfair with 802 exhibitors. it has the most diverse seminar program inte the world. 447 different seminars in the official program. on top of that comes all the inofficial seminars, author interviews, signings, cultural performances etc in the actual exhibtion area. it is massive and i find it really intressting and inspiring to be in such a place. it is the second year i'm going and i'm very much looking forward to it. photos will come.
album now playing: green day - american idiot
18-sept-2004new photos photos from the party last night in the photo gallery.
album now playing: rammstein - mutter
18-sept-2004report i had a good night yesterday. i stayed at the moving-in-party the whole night. good friends, familiar faces and complete strangers. food, laughter and prayer. the only thing that i missed was music and dancing.
thanx karin, c+c, simon (and emma) for opening your home and hearts. i dig you.
album now playing: coldplay - parachutes
17-sept-2004party i'm soon off to my friends moving-in-party. four of my friends just got themselves a big flat and tonight it's the time to celebrate. i hope to meet alot of quality people and maybe finish off the night at en bra klubb (in swedish).
album now playing: system of a down - burn this album
17-sept-2004status as my frequent readers might have picked up i have been tired and stressed this summer. alot of stuff to do and alot of expections, more from myself than anyone else. thankfully things are slower now and i'm learning to cope with my own expectations.
what am i doing than? a question i get asked alot and that i ask myself as well. well my main focus this fall is helping out with starting up the swedish speak network (in swedish). i run the website, try to help the local speak groups, do some preaching and teaching, do pr and media contacts and try to create a common platform for the network. something like that.
i've been involved with the frizon festival (in swedish) a few years now. it still captures alot of my imagination, prayers and thoughts how to make this festival better. so i think, write, plan, discuss and hope to be able to contribute with something valuable.
i'm not paid for doing speak or frizon stuff and i got to have money to pay my bills. so i run a small company called emunication. i mainly write and shoot photography. most of it is freelance work for magazines and newspapers but i do various things. i just finished reading and commenting on a book manuscript for a publisher and now i'm in the middle of translating texts from english to swedish. so i do all sorts of things. and hopefully it will pay my bills.
i guess that's what i do on a job-like level. other than that i try to read and watch movies, something i havn't really had time to do lately. i try to get out and play some discgolf before the swedish winter kicks in. recently did my best ever round at the local 18-hole hästhagen course, eight over par. but the best thing about having more time is to have time for your friends, family, church and going out. to have time for people.
album now playing: natasha bedingfield - unwritten
13-sept-2004groovy i'm trying to get into a groove of a more normal life. like having time to read, play discgolf and enjoy the company of friends and family. it feels really good.
12-sept-2004new photos i've been really slack with updating this page and the photo gallery. i'll work on that. there is however a new album in the photo gallery.
3-sept-2004new photos two new albums in the photo gallery.
3-sept-2004back i'm back. i'm sick. the autumn is here.
22-aug-2004gone again first to an isolatad island in the gothenburg archepilagio for a few days of nothingness. then i go to a festival in england. will be back on the 1st of september.
22-aug-2004new photos two new albums in the photo gallery.
16-aug-2004new photos new album in the photo gallery.
16-aug-2004back i'm back, alive but sleepy.
10-aug-2004festival i'm off to the frizon festival. back on the 16th. i hope to god that i'll make it back alive as i'm real worn out.
08-aug-2004music videos it's wierd to find your friends videos being played on european mtv or the swedish music channel z-tv. the last bands to end up being played there that i know (and have booked for smaller gigs before they "made it") is eskju divine and silence the foe.
06-aug-2004new photos there's a new album from an evening at a cottage in the photo gallery. it was me and my two sisters and my sister hannas boyfriend björn just having a really chill time.
04-aug-2004shame on you nestlé is at it again, they have been marketing milk powder as an equivalent or as superior to breast-milk for more than two decades. a new report shows that they are holding the shameful position as the number one company violating the 24 year old code banning all marketing that is undermining breastfeeding.
02-aug-2004new photos there is a new big ass album in the photo gallery.
02-aug-2004back back from the youth camp, had a fantastic time. photos soon.
27-jul-2004away i'm off to a youth camp in a few minutes. expect no updates the coming week.
23-jul-2004backpacking for the swedes out there i have found two intressting articles worth a read. the first one is a major kick in the ass to backpackers (myself included). the second one is a more subtle one-cheek-ass-slap to american political backpackers, like the current us ambassador in sweden, teel bivins.
22-jul-2004in a coma phone calls and grammatic rules.
prices, deadlines, words.
waiting.
frustration.
change of plans and cult of luna.

beat @gency are deportees in a koma.
no, i'm the deportee waiting for the 16th of august to save me from my coma-like way of life.

i'm going crazy.
21-jul-2004pen missile i thought this was pretty funny. don't know if it's politicly incorrect or anything, but i don't care, i thought it was hilarious. especially for all the 'klunsch' players out there.
rock, paper, saddam!
18-jul-2004yester me
yester you
yesterday		 i came home very late and very pleased last night. stevie wonder did a really good show together with his superb live band. the show was over two hours long and sometimes a bit slow, especially when he silenced the 30 000 screaming fans and played ballads. but there was plenty of funky hits as well and i danced alot.
since i had such a good seat (i was given vip-tickets from a frequent flyer program, second row - seven meters from the stage) i captured a few okey photos to be found in the photo gallery.
17-jul-2004pasttime paradise i'm soon off to stockholm for a stevie wonder concert. it's gonna be nice to have a day almost free from work since i've been working nonstop for almost six weeks.
16-jul-2004new photos two new albums in the photo gallery. thanx for all the comments, it encourages me to keep on going!
16-jul-2004google feature most of you probably know this already; if you go to google and type "weapons of mass destruction" in the search bar and press the "I'm lucky"/"Jag har tur"/"Auf gut Glück!"/"Voy a Tener Suerte"/"J'ai de la chance"-button you get a very intressting error page. read it carefully.
16-jul-2004thanx thanx to god and to all the people that has helped me. i'm not entirely there, but soon.
13-jul-2004help i so need you right now. i need YOUR HELP.
11-jul-2004help i so need god right now. i need his help.
09-jul-2004new photos new photos in the photo gallery.
06-jul-2004freedom i'm currently writing a piece about freedom. where is it to find if not in the epic movie braveheart. the cry of william wallace is ringing in my ears, the cry of a man who followed his heart.
sure there is a lot of blood and violence in the movie, sad to say i'm hardened, more so than i want. what sweeps me away in this movie. what captures my mind and my feelings is the motives portrayed. money, status and power. the allegiance to freedom or the allegiance to the king.
sitting in my chair, as the credits roll over my screen, i once again affirm my allegiance to the lord of all. jesus christ has won my freedom, i follow him. i pray that no earthly possessions will be able to enslave me. (things you own ends up owning you.) i pray i will distribute any power given to me. (power corrupts.) i pray no title will be greater in my life than 'child of god'. (god, in his love, has adopted a bastard like me.) i pray that no matter how much i sin or fuck up, i will not give up. (get rid of everything that slows you down, especially the sin that just won't let go.) i hope to do this with the spirit that is my help, fuelled by his holy love.
you might think i'm crazy and to carried away by this movie. you might be right. but my decision to follow the lord jesus christ is not just something based on feelings after watching an epic movie or the allegiance to a church. it is something i personally continuously renew, today as many times before.

my love, my lord. until death do us unite, i pray that your love and mercy will rule in my life. laying down my life for you is what makes me free.
02-jul-2004new photos new photos in the photo gallery. comment!
30-jun-2004guestbook the guestbook has been fixed after three months of down-time. celebrate by signing it!
29-jun-2004miracle i had another computer miracle happend to me. my cd-drive was non-existent in windows. it must either have been dead or have been disconnected from the motherboard in some way. even the bios couldn't find it.
i few days went by and then i prayed for the computer and suddenly it showed up. all glory to god!
however my external hard drive is still not coorperating so we're not yet in heaven.
29-jun-2004- i'm sitting in my apartment trying to juggle with several big tasks. outside my window the sun is shining but i havn't had time to enjoy that much lately. instead i'm feeling sorry for my myself and my pale skin ;-)
no, but really, it's gonna be great to have some time to enjoy the sun and the company of friends in the near (hopefully) future.
20-jun-2004new photos i just added a bunch of new photos in the photo gallery. if you appreciate my photos, please consider commenting on them. it is something i greatly appreciate.
18-jun-2004on the road i'm sitting in a car. dave grohl is singing his guts out searching for color and shape. identity.
the car is heading south for malmö. a city where i spent six years of my childhood. i'm reminded of...yeah, what is it that comes to my mind? the first thing that comes to my mind is my school and being bullied. not like real bad, but still. i remember alienation. i remember that one time when i was beaten.
we are on our way to a weding. we being me and my family. the wedding being that of my cousin madelenie and her johan, a person that i also know as a business partner
i intended to write for my current project on this seven hour roadtrip. i bought an inverter to transform the 12V of the car electric system to 230V. this to be able to power my computer so i could use it beyond the battery capacity. it didn't work. so i'm sitting here limited to my sparse battery capacity. yeah, i feel limited. that's how dependent i am to my computer and other technical equipment. i defend myself with calling it equipment and not just gadgets. and rightfully so, i'm doing business and for that i'm depending on my equipment. just like any farmer or hairdresser. it's just that my high-tech gear is much more likely to lack compatibality or freeze or run out of power than a spade or a pair of scissors.
what? did you say that farmers use robots to milk their cows and hairdressers electric trimmers? so they must be as frustrated as me?
dave grohl tells the world that he is stuck between a handshake and a fuck. i'm stuck between the idealisation of the stone age and the need(?) and desire to be on the edge of the technical revolution. with imagery from the garden of eden and the lush dreams of anarchism i long for the primitive stone age. living in harmony with god, nature, self and others. on the other hand, surfing the web on technical equipment is like breathing, so natural that i never give it a thought. i'm surfing the technical tsunami (that started as rings on the water by the fall of a single drop of bad choice in the garden of eden) and the thrills it gives me is my escape from the present, from emotions and relationships. a hiding place from...from winds with no names haunting me.
i just read the new issue of trots allt, a swedish magazine i really enjoy reading. it enriches my thoughts, my language and my faith. it gives me a broader perspective. but yeah, enriching is a good word to describe it. this was a double summer issue and i think it had a lot to offer. i was so full of thoughts about the content just after i finished reading and i really wanted to write about it. but we are in malmö and i should turn the computer off. i might continue later tonight, if i'm still in the same selfconcious probing mode. i might return to the color and the shape. return to identity.

hours later

we arrived safely to the home of a family friend here in malmö. after som delicious food and good old memories i'm back with my computer. but the inspiration to write is not so strong anymore. the thoughts so eager to spill onto the web has lost their vibrant energy. well, i'll leave you with the following words: emmanuel ingelsten is just too much. but yet so poor.
18-jun-2004 i've started working.
17-jun-2004i got a new degree emmanuel ingelsten - ph.d. in procastrination.
16-jun-2004new photos i just added a bunch of new photos from my trip in the photo gallery. i didn't take all that many photos due to always being on the run and not having time. but i hope the ones offered will give you a little glimpse of what i've seen.
if you appreciate my photos, please consider commenting on them. it is something i greatly appreciate.
16-jun-2004tattoo it's official. the sacred heart is now inked to my upper right arm.
15-jun-2004home sweet home the last seven nigths i've stayed at six different places. it sure feels good to be back again. i'm sitting in my warm, cosy little flat smelling from sweat and perfume from the tester bottles at the taxfree airport shopping.
the coming two weeks i'm going to work hard crafting something good out of all the photos and interviews i've done. so help me god!
13-jun-2004stuttgart after driving for 5+ hours yesterday we ended up in stuttgart. we got lost a few times in the web of highways that germany offers. we were pulled over by some autobahn cops thinking we had drugs with us - we had dutch plates and they thought that i looked suspicous.
we, that includes me and my dutch guide karel smouter, are now enjoing the hospitality of a girl called miriam. so i've been sleeping in a nice bed and eating a proper breakfast for the first time since i embarked on this journey. the past nights has been spent in real scabby places where you have not been able to see the floor because of all the dust and things lying around.
10-jun-2004amsterdam i'm writing this from an office in amsterdam. just outside the window one of the city's famous canals is resting peacefully. it's the first time i'm in holland and it's fun to be here although i havn't really got a feel of the place yet.
i'm out on a little trip - doing interviews and getting to know people. before i'll be back in sweden i'm hoping to grace germany, switzerland, belgium and england with my footprints and capture some of what i experience in my head and heart, but also in my camera.
01-jun-2004new info i've turned 25 and i've quit working in the church i belong to. some other stuff written about in the info section has also changed, so i've updated that section.
01-jun-2004new photos i just uploaded four new albums in the photo gallery.
26-may-2004cover there is a new cover photo on longingboy.com.
26-may-2004listen to bono, america Commencement Speech held at the University of Pennsylvania by Bono of U2.

My name is Bono and I am a rock star. Don't get me too excited because I use four letter words when I get excited and I'm that guy. I'd just like to say to the parents, your children are safe, your country is safe, the FCC has taught me a lesson and the only four letter word I'm going to use today is PENN. Come to think of it Bono is a four-letter word. The whole business of obscenity-I don't think there's anything certainly more unseemly than the sight of a rock star in academic robes. It's a bit like when people put their King Charles spaniels in little tartan sweats and hats. It's not natural, and it doesn't make the dog any smarter.

It's true we were here before with U2 and I would like to thank them for giving me a great life, as well as you. I've got a great rock and roll band that normally stand in the back when I'm talking to thousands of people in a football stadium and they were here with me, I think it was seven years ago. Actually then I was with some other sartorial problems. I was wearing a mirror ball suit at the time and I emerged from a forty-foot high revolving lemon. It was sort of a cross between a space ship, a disco and a plastic fruit. I guess it was at that point when your Trustees decided to give me their highest honor. Doctor of Laws, wow! I know it's an honor, and it really is an honor, but are you sure? Doctor of Law, all I can think about is the laws I've broken. Laws of nature, laws of physics, laws of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and on a memorable night in the late '70s, I think it was Newton's law of motion sickness. No, it's true, my resume reads like a rap sheet. I have to come clean; I've broken a lot of laws, and the ones I haven't I've certainly thought about. I have sinned in thought, word, and deed and God forgive me, actually God forgave me, but why would you? I'm here getting a doctorate, getting respectable, getting in the good graces of the powers that be. I hope it sends you students a powerful message: Crime does pay.

So I humbly accept the honor, keeping in mind the words of a British playwright, John Mortimer it was: "No brilliance is needed in the law, nothing but common sense and relatively clean fingernails." Well at best I've got one of the two of those. But no, I never went to college, I've slept in some strange places, but the library wasn't one of them. I studied rock and roll and I grew up in Dublin in the '70s; music was an alarm bell for me, it woke me up to the world. I was 17 when I first saw The Clash, and it just sounded like revolution. The Clash were like: "This is a public service announcement - with guitars." I was the kid in the crowd who took it at face value. Later I learned that a lot of the rebels were in it for the t-shirt. They'd wear the boots but they wouldn't march. They'd smash bottles on their heads, but they wouldn't go to something more painful like a town hall meeting.

By the way, I felt like that myself until recently. I didn't expect change to come so slow. So agonizingly slow. I didn't realize that the biggest obstacle to political and social progress wasn't the Free Masons, or the Establishment, or the boot heel of whatever you consider the man to be, it was something much subtle. As the provost just referred to, a combination of our own indifference and the Kafkaesque labyrinth of (nos) you encounter as people vanish down the corridors of bureaucracy. So for better or worse that was my education. I came away with a clear sense of the difference music could make in my own life, in other peoples lives if I did my job right. Which if you're a singer in a rock band, means avoiding the obvious pitfalls like say a mullet hairdo. If anyone here doesn't know what a mullet is by the way, your education's certainly not complete, I'd ask for your money back. For a lead singer like me, a mullet is, I would suggest, arguably more dangerous than a drug problem. Yes, I had a mullet in the '80s. Now this is the point where the members of the faculty start smiling uncomfortably and thinking maybe they should have offered me the honorary bachelors degree instead of the full blown, (he should have been the bachelor's one, he's talking about mullets and stuff) and if they're asking what on earth I'm doing here, I think it's a fair question: What am I doing here? More to the point: what are you doing here? Because if you don't mind me saying so, this is a strange ending to an Ivy League education. Four years in these historic halls thinking great thoughts, and now you're sitting in a stadium better suited for football, listening to an Irish rock star give a speech that is so far mostly about himself. What are you doing here?

Actually I saw something in the paper last week about Kermit the Frog giving a commencement address somewhere. One of the students was complaining, "I worked my a** off for four years to be addressed by a sock?" You have worked your a** off for this. For four years you've been buying, trading, and selling everything you've got in this marketplace of ideas. The intellectual hustle. Your pockets are full, even if your parents' are empty, and now you've got to figure out what to spend it on. Well, the going rate for change is not cheap. Big ideas are expensive. The University has had its share of big ideas. Benjamin Franklin had a few, so did Justice Brennen and in my opinion so does Judith Rodin. What a gorgeous girl. They all knew that if you're gonna be good at your word, if you're gonna live up to your ideals and your education, its' gonna cost you. So my question I suppose is: What's the big idea? What's your big idea? What are you willing to spend your moral capital, your intellectual capital, your cash, your sweat equity in pursuing outside of the walls of the University of Pennsylvania?

There's a truly great Irish poet, his name is Brendan Kennelly, and he has this epic poem called the Book of Judas, and there's a line in that poem that never leaves my mind. It says: "If you want to serve the age, betray it." What does that mean to betray the age? Well to me, betraying the age means exposing its conceits, it's foibles; it's phony moral certitudes. It means telling the secrets of the age and facing harsher truths. Every age has its massive moral blind spots. We might not see them, but our children will. Slavery was one of them and the people who best served that age were the ones who called it as it was, which was ungodly and inhuman. Ben Franklin called it when he became president of the Pennsylvania Abolition Society.

Segregation. There was another one. America sees this now but it took a civil rights movement to betray their age. And 50 years ago the U.S. Supreme Court betrayed the age. May 17, 1954, Brown vs. Board of Education came down and put the lie to the idea that separate can ever really be equal. Amen to that. Fast forward 50 years, May 17, 2004, what are the ideas right now worth betraying? What are the lies we tell ourselves now? What are the blind spots of our age? What's worth spending your post-Penn lives trying to do or undo? It might be something simple. It might be something as simple as our deep down refusal to believe that every human life has equal worth. Could that be it? Could that be it?

Each of you will probably have your own answer, but for me that is it. And for me the proving ground has been Africa. Africa makes a mockery of what we say, at least what I say, about equality and questions our pieties and our commitments because there's no way to look at what's happening over there and it's effect on all of us and conclude that we actually consider Africans as our equal before God. There is no chance.

An amazing event happened here in Philadelphia in 1985-Live Aid-that whole We Are The World phenomenon- the concert that happened here. Well after that concert I went to Ethiopia with my wife, Ali. We were there for a month and an extraordinary thing happened to me. We used to wake up in the morning and the mist would be lifting- we'd see thousands and thousands of people who'd been walking all night to our food station where we were working. One man- I was standing outside talking to the translator-had this beautiful boy and he was saying to me in Amharic, I think it was, I said I can't understand what he's saying, and this nurse who spoke English and Amharic said to me, he's saying will you take his son. He's saying please take his son, he would be a great son for you. I was looking puzzled and he said, "You must take my son because if you don't take my son, my son will surely die. If you take him he will go back to where he is and get an education." Probably like the ones we're talking about today. I had to say no, that was the rules there and I walked away from that man, I've never really walked away from it. But I think about that boy and that man and that's when I started this journey that's brought me here into this stadium. Because at that moment I became the worst scourge on God's green earth, a rock star with a cause. Except it isn't the cause. Seven thousand Africans dying every day of preventable, treatable disease, like AIDS? That's not a cause. That's an emergency. And when the disease gets out of control because most of the population live on less than one dollar a day? That's not a cause. That's an emergency. And when resentment builds because of unfair trade rules and the burden of unfair debt, that are debts by the way that keep Africans poor. That's not a cause. That's an emergency.

So-We Are The World, Live Aid, Start Me Off, it was an extraordinary thing and really that event was about charity. But 20 years on I'm not that interested in charity. I'm interested in justice. There's a difference. Africa needs justice as much as it needs charity. Equality for Africa is a big idea. It's a big expensive idea. I see the Wharton graduates now getting out the math on the back of their programs, numbers are intimidating aren't they, but not to you! But the scale of the suffering and the scope of the commitment they often numb us into a kind of indifference. Wishing for the end to AIDS and extreme poverty in Africa is like wishing that gravity didn't make things so d--- heavy. We can wish it, but what the hell can we do about it? Well, more than we think. We can't fix every problem-corruption, natural calamities are part of the picture here-but the ones we can we must. The debt burden, as I say, unfair trade, as I say, sharing our knowledge, the intellectual copyright for lifesaving drugs in a crisis, we can do that. And because we can, we must. Because we can, we must. Amen.

This is the straight truth, the righteous truth. It's not a theory, it's a fact. The fact is that this generation-yours, my generation-that can look at the poverty, we're the first generation that can look at poverty and disease, look across the ocean to Africa and say with a straight face, we can be the first to end this sort of stupid extreme poverty, where in the world of plenty a child can die for lack of food in it's belly. We can be the first generation. It might take a while, but we can be that generation that says no to stupid poverty. It's a fact, the economists confirm it. It's an expensive fact, but cheaper than say the Marshall Plan that saved Europe from communism and fascism. And cheaper I would argue than fighting wave after wave of terrorism's new recruits. That's the economics department over there, very good. It's a fact. So why aren't we pumping our fists in the air and cheering about it? Well probably because when we admit we can do something about it, we've got to do something about it. For the first time in history we have the know how, we have the cash, we have the lifesaving drugs, but do we have the will?

Yesterday, here in Philadelphia, at the Liberty Bell, I met a lot of Americans who do have the will. From arch religious conservatives to young secular radicals, I just felt an incredible over powering sense that this was possible. We're calling it the ONE campaign, to put an end to AIDS and extreme poverty in Africa. They believe we can do it, so do I. I really, really do believe it. I just want you to know, I think this is obvious, but I'm not really going in for the warm fuzzy feeling thing; I'm not a hippy, I do not have flowers in my hair, I come from punk rock, all right. The Clash wore army boots not Birkenstocks. I believe America can do this! I believe that this generation can do this. In fact I want to hear an argument about why we shouldn't.

I know idealism is not playing on the radio right now, you don't see it on TV, irony is on heavy rotation, the knowingness, the smirk, the tired joke. I've tried them all out but I'll tell you this, outside this campus, and even inside it, idealism is under siege beset by materialism, narcissism and all the other isms of indifference. Baggism, Shaggism. Raggism. Notism, graduationism, chismism; I don't know. Where's John Lennon when you need him. But I don't want to make you cop to idealism, not in front of your parents, or your younger siblings. But what about Americanism? Will you cop to that at least? It's not everywhere in fashion these days, Americanism. Not very big in Europe, truth be told. No less on Ivy League college campuses. But it all depends on your definition of Americanism. Me, I'm in love with this country called America. I'm a huge fan of America, I'm one of those annoying fans, you know the ones that read the CD notes and follow you into bathrooms and ask you all kinds of annoying questions about why you didn't live up to that … I'm that kind of fan.

I read the Declaration of Independence and I've read the Constitution of the United States, and they are some liner notes, dude. As I said yesterday I made my pilgrimage to Independence Hall, and I love America because America is not just a country, it's an idea. You see my country, Ireland, is a great country, but it's not an idea. America is an idea, but it's an idea that brings with it some baggage, like power brings responsibility. It's an idea that brings with it equality, but equality even though it's the highest calling, is the hardest to reach. The idea that anything is possible, that's one of the reasons why I'm a fan of America. It's like hey, look there's the moon up there, let's take a walk on it; bring back a piece of it. That's the kind of America that I'm a fan of.

In 1771, your founder, Mr. Franklin, spent three months in Ireland and Scotland to look at the relationship they had with England to see if this could be a model for America, whether America should follow their example and remain a part of the British Empire. Franklin was deeply, deeply distressed by what he saw. In Ireland, he saw how England had put a stranglehold on Irish trade, how absentee English landlords exploited Irish tenant farmers and how those farmers in Franklin's words, "lived in retched hovels of mud and straw, were clothed in rags and subsisted chiefly on potatoes." Not exactly the American dream. So instead of Ireland becoming a model for America, America became a model for Ireland in our own struggle for independence. When the potatoes ran out, millions of Irish men, women and children packed their bags got on a boat and showed up right here. And we're still doing it. We're not even starving anymore, loads of potatoes. In fact if there's any Irish out there, I've breaking news from Dublin: the potato famine is over; you can come home now. But why are we still showing up? Because we love the idea of America. We love the crackle and the hustle, we love the spirit that gives a finger to fate, the spirit that says there's no hurdle we can't clear and no problem we can't fix. [Sound of helicopter] Oh, here comes the Brits, only joking. No problem we can't fix.

So what's the problem that we want to apply all this energy and intellect to? Every era has its defining struggle and the fate of Africa is one of ours. It's not the only one, but in the history books it's easily going to make the top five; what we did or what we did not do. It's a proving ground, as I said earlier, for the idea of equality. But whether it's this or something else, I hope you'll pick a fight and get in it. Get your boots dirty, get rough, steel your courage with a final drink there at Smoky Joe's, one last primal scream and go. Sing the melody line you hear in your own head, remember, you don't owe anybody any explanations. You don't owe your parents any explanations; you don't owe your professors any explanations.

You know I used to think the future was solid or fixed, something you inherited like an old building that you move into when the previous generation moves out or gets chased out. But it's not. The future is not fixed; it's fluid. You can build your own building, or hut or condo, whatever; this is the metaphor part of the speech by the way. But my point is that the world is more malleable than you think and it's waiting for you to hammer it into shape. Now if I were a folksinger, I'd immediately launch into "If I Had a Hammer" right now, get you all singing and swaying. But as I say, I come from punk rock, so I'd rather have the bloody hammer right here in my fist. That's what this degree of yours is, a blunt instrument. So go forth and build something with it. Remember what John Adams said about Ben Franklin, "He does not hesitate at our boldest measures but rather seems too think us to irresolute." Well this is the time for bold measures and this is the country and you are the generation.

Thank you.

24-may-2004music in örebro the following text is for all of you who live in and around örebro and enjoy good music:
På torsdag 27/5 arrangerar Libris bokhandel, On the rock, Bilda, Bönligan och Connection Online en konsert med Andrew Peterson, singer/songwriter från USA, med rötter i Sverige.
Plats: Folkets Hus, B-salen (under Café Deed)
Tid: 20.00
Pris: endast 50:-
Hemsida: www.andrew-peterson.com
24-may-2004new photos i just uploaded four new albums in the photo gallery.
24-may-2004music from another realm yesterday i saw brother danielson, sufjan stevens and david eugene edwards play @ klubb söndag here in örebro. it was a fantastic night. danielson was wierd as always, sufjan stevens was just as wonderful as on his albums and mr edwards impressed me again with his voice, his songwriting, his charizma and his fervent passion for jesus.
photos can be found in my photo gallery.
19-may-2004new photos i just uploaded six new albums in the photo gallery.
19-may-200425 today is my 25th birthday. hooray for maturity and grey hair!
10-may-2004tattoo for five years now i've been thinking about getting a tattoo. three years ago i decided to get tattoed and what motif i wanted. last year i talked about my plans in an interview and i started drawing on one together with my sister.
but when will it happen? *gah* get going e-man!
09-may-2004new photos today i've been tweaking the photo gallery a bit and i also uploaded a new album.
08-may-2004new photos today i uploaded four new albums in the photo gallery.
03-may-2004new photos i just uploaded three new albums in the photo gallery.
30-apr-2004new photos i just uploaded yet a new album in the photo gallery.
30-apr-2004photos and videos i just uploaded a new album in the photo gallery. the images are from a roadtrip i made today with a bunch of friends. i also have three videos that you can download:
> all the guys in the van [16mb]
> erik being nasty: ear fascination [13mb] (fixed)
> erik having fun: the jompa bompa song [3mb] (fixed)
28-apr-2004dp the dp arts & music festival website has been released with a few bands and some info. nothing all that great yet, if you ask me. but i've got hope for what is to come.
28-apr-2004errors again don't shout hi until you're over the creek. (silly direct translation of a classic swedish saying)
apparently the guestbook doesn't work properly. you can read it but not sign it. i'm working on that...
27-apr-2004new photos i just uploaded four new albums in the photo gallery.
it'd be cool if you wanted to comment on some of the shots, i'd really appreciate that!
27-apr-2004first time today i took my first dip for the year. but it wasn't voluntary and the water was muddy and cold, not very pleasant. i think i'll wait another month before i give it another try.
27-apr-2004no error everything with the server should be back to normal, except for the gustbook, and it's such a relief. thanx goes out to carter @ varganthosting who has helped me so much during the transition.
23-apr-2004not feeling inspired i'm preaching on saturday again. god, be my inspiration.
21-apr-2004error 3 now most everything works with the webservers. the guestbook is still not operating and i can't upload more photos to the gallery as of now.
16-apr-2004error 2 things are getting better with the server stuff. and the load on my shoulders is not as heavy.
good night!
14-apr-2004error as you've probably noticed there is some major shit going on with my server. swedish characters are shown as japanese characters and the mysql databases for the gallery and the guestbook are not working. my e-mail addys have also been dead and they're still not totally back on track. sorry for any problem this might cause you. if you've tried to e-mail med and recieved error messages or if you're not getting an answer from me; please resend your e-mail message.
this not only goes for my site but for a few others that i manage...which makes this some heavy work for me. and that was totally not needed right now as i've got tons of stuff to do. if you believe in god and have a spare minute, please pray a little for me.
10-apr-2004new photos i just uploaded a new album in the photo gallery. it's a massive album with more than 100 photos from the ski camp i just came home from.
08-apr-2004prayer jesus, let this easter be a time where your message really gets through to me.
08-apr-2004åre i've been away a few days now and i'm coming back to örebro on saturday. i'm on a ski camp with all the kids from church. we're in åre, swedens best ski resort, and today the weather is tops. i've plugged my computer into a broadband connection just 20 meters from the pist and i'm doing some e-mails and work.
i've taken tons of photos and you can be sure there will be a massive update in the gallery section soon.
02-apr-2004little toe i broke my little toe the other day. it hurts. i was barefoot and shut an elevator door on it. stupid me.
02-apr-2004new photos i just uploaded three new albums in the photo gallery. two are in the march category and one is in the april one.
it'd be cool if you wanted to comment on some of the shots, i'd really appreciate that!
28-mar-2004poetry i need to write more. i want to write more. not articles or websites or any of that, i have enough of that. i want to write poetry. it doesn't have to rhyme or be in a special metre. i just want to write beautifully. about my thoughts and feelings, about life and mystery.
maybe it's spring that gives me this inspiration. maybe it's god. hopefully summer will give me time to explore this. hopefully i will too. surely there is a universe to explore within me. surely one within you.
28-mar-2004frizon the website for the frizon festival 2004 is finally released. with erik wärlegård as the designer it's not a surprise that it's beautiful.
28-mar-2004preaching: report it didn't feel all that great preaching in linköping. but i guess it can't always feel that great. and i know that my feelings are not as important as what words god hopefully used that night.
26-mar-2004preaching tonight i'm going to linköping to preach. i'm sitting in my chair trying to make sense of bible verses, thoughts and feelings. it's hard. but i'm confident that god is with me and i'm actually not nervous for the preaching. thanx god!
24-mar-2004dp there will be a dp-festival this year, dp is back from it's coma. not in the ordinary sense, but still. this time it will be a four nights, 16 band indoor festival with meetings and parties in a park during the days. i hope the festival site will be back with updates soon.
for those of you who doesn't know what the dp-festival is i say these words: norway, a mix of people, great music, god, summer and just the best thing ever.
21-mar-2004new photos i just uploaded a new album in the photo gallery. it'd be cool if you wanted to comment on some of the shots, i'd really appreciate that!
15-mar-2004skånepåg i've spent my weekend off with friends and relatives in malmö in the southern part of sweden. i had a really good time and i'll upload some fresh photos from my trip pretty soon.
11-mar-2004ignorance some say that ignorance is bliss. i say that ignorance is shit.
10-mar-2004passion i was astonded when i read the article about the movie the passion of the christ in the swedish tabloid expressen. i so wish that more people would react in the same way. i pray that it will happend.
08-mar-2004new photos i just uploaded three new albums in the photo gallery. it'd be cool if you wanted to comment on some of the shots, i'd really appreciate that!
08-mar-2004the best live show this past weekend i caught ten shows. dolores, mainstreet, resolution, mouse, napoleon, brus, jesper larsson band, sheltek, ane brun and bill mallonee. plus i heard this cool nepali song in church. so it has been alot of music.
the best show was the one with resolution. they were definitly not the best musicians. they were definitly the most inexperienced, they had the most embarassing parents and were the second shyest (go brus).
resolution is a band consisting of four young girls, maybe between 13-16 years old or something. they played their 4th show and you could tell the their instrumental skills were pretty fresh. but oh what melodies. and oh what voices. the four girls all sang beautifully to their pop-rock, all taking turns in singing solo and backing up. they just need to work hard on their instruments, practice alot together and keep writing good melodies. then it's just a matter of time before they lay the lands of the earth before their feet.
before i put an end to this post i should mention that ane brun was pretty cool as well!
01-mar-2004new photos i just uploaded two new albums in the photo gallery. it'd be cool if you wanted to comment on some of the shots, i'd really appreciate that!
27-feb-2004coming home i'm back in sweden after a good time in england. really intense, but really good. a lot has to do with the way i feel i've met god. both the intensity and the goodness comes from interacting with god who's the definition of good and with a heart that is intense. an intensity displayed on the cross of death.
i feel myself being stirred up on a personal level as well as in a sense of mission. i feel god is stirring me up to do things, to be on his mission. and that is what want, that is what i long for. first of all to be engaged with god on a personal level and also to share his heart and mission for this place we call the earth.
i know that i sometimes have trouble spotting the forest because there are so many trees in the way. i really hope that i won't loose sight of god in the middle of all the things i feel he stirrs me up to do and be apart of.
on the flight back i read pete grieg's book about the 24-7 prayer movement called the red moon rising. as i did so i felt stirred once again confusing my fellow passengers with tears pouring down my cheeks. god's heart touched mine as the stories of other young people across the world communicated beyond the mere words printed on paper.
sitting by my computer in my flat i feel enthused and exhausted at the same time. god is overwhelming. and the best, i love you so much god!

if you want to get your hands on the book red moon rising here are some direct links to the cheapest places: amazon[us], internetbokhandeln[swe] or get the expanded version straight from the 24-7 webshop[uk].
24-feb-2004new photos i just uploaded a new album in the photo gallery.
24-feb-2004from londoni'm sitting at a korean internet cafe on a small street a few meters away from tottenham court road. i'm dead tired after the full-on weekend i've had here with SPEAK. i have a few more days here in london and a few days of visiting friends in sweden before i get back to work. a well needed rest since i was a little stressed and stretched before i went to england.
blindside's new album is out and it's really good!
18-feb-2004triptomorrow i'm leaving for england. it will be a much needed break from everything i'm doing in sweden. i'll be gone for about a week and when i return i hope to be refreshed by the slow pace and clean air of london.
16-feb-2004packrat human beings are a kind of it's own. have a little peek into the home of an american packrat (contains several mb of pictures, slow for surfers on a modem connection) and marvel!
14-feb-2004england on thursday i'm flying to england which will be a blast! i'll be there together with some people from the swedish SPEAK network. we're joining the english SPEAK network for their soundcheck weekend and on the following day of action. can't wait.
14-feb-2004postcard i got a strange postcard the other day. no one had signed the postcard and there is no way i can tell who sent it. truly strange.
14-feb-2004conflict i'm afraid of conflict. i know that they're unavoidable and that conflicts handled carefully often can have a positive outcome. i'm still afraid.
today we got in an argument with the caretaker at the hall we play soccer in. he was pissed off and rightly so. but his accuses was over the top. with patience we managed to have a really good conversation with him and we parted in a good way. i don't like conflict.
14-feb-2004new photos i just uploaded two new photo albums in the photo gallery. please check them out and please vote on the photos you view by clicking on the stars beneath.
07-feb-2004all of us the first video from the upcoming blindside album can be viewed be following this link.
06-feb-2004alot of music blindside will release their fourth fullength about a burning fire on the 24th of february.
tomas andersson wij & anna ternheim will play @ klubb söndag, örebro on the 29th of february.
on the 7th of march klubb söndag will have bill malonee & ane brun as guests.
pedro the lion will release their new album achilles' heel on the 25th of may. their sparse website will be replaced on the 1st of march.
koma has a new website and in just a few weeks their debut album tsunami will be released. check the website for soundclips and more info.
dakkfoai has released a new EP and they keep evolving their skills, songwriting and recording. order through their website.
02-feb-2004show tomorrow derek webb will visit örebro for a concert with his wife sandra mccracken. he is the former singer/songwriter of the band caedmons call. word on the street says it will be a really good. info:
location: brickebergskyrkan 19.30
tickets available at libris bookshop 45SEK
30-jan-2004new photos i just uploaded 3 new albums in the photo gallery.
30-jan-2004sorry sometimes i'm not very good with updating, soory about that. i've been a bit busy and tired as of lately but i'm hoping next week will be better. it's looking good.
i have many exciting things to tell the world, so please come back in the next couple of days!
20-jan-2004new photos i just uploaded a new album in the photo gallery.
17-jan-2004i'm a bad boy i overslept this morning and woke up at 13:30. it has it's reasons though, i've altered my rythm and gone to bed very late the last coupple of days: we>04:30, th>06:00, fr>04:30.
i really do hope that i'll go to bed earlier tonight but it doesn't look all that good. my sister has a birthday party and i've heard rumours about going out dancing afterwards. so we'll see.
16-jan-2004. i wanted to write a little something. but my eyelids are so heavy and i'm falling asleep any second, so i'd better move towards my bed. good night world!
11-jan-2004the strokes the end has no end.
9-jan-2004computer miracle the built-in modem in my computer has been broken for a while now. today i was going to leave my computer at the shop were i bought it. but right before i shut it off to take it with me i prayed for it. i prayed for the computer and then tried to connect with the modem. and it worked! hallelujah!
you might think i was just lucky. i agree that it's wierd but i think i was blessed. thanx jesus!
7-jan-2004new photos i just uploaded three new photo albums in the photo gallery. please check them out and please vote on the photos you view by clicking on the stars beneath.
7-jan-2004beautiful girl yesterday on the train i sat next to a girl that was sobbing. i asked her if she wanted to talk. she did. we talked more or less during the whole two hour trip. i enjoyed talking to her but the subject of our conversation was anything but enjoyable. she told me about her upbringing full of terror and opression from her own parents. words and actions telling her that she was bad, wierd and stupid. about being bullied and beaten in school. she told me about never being accepted. about the deceit from the adult world and the failure of numerous psycologists.
it was heartbreaking. i was mad and sad at the same time. and so completely unable to help. all i could do was...be there. to be someone that appreciated her drawings and was intressted in what she had to say.
she had made some really nice drawings. and she had alot of intressting thoughts. she was beautiful. not that i saw much of her, she hid under her beanie. but in all her hurt, brokeness, confusion and darkness i saw a special girl. a girl with great abilities, love for her friends, dreams and humour.
maria, never forget that you are beautiful. never forget that you have something special that only you can contribute to the world.
7-jan-2004i'm back again i'm sitting in my beloved armchair by my desk, writing an update for this website. the time away has been splendid, but it's nice to be back as well. home sweet home.
26-dec-2003new photos i just uploaded five new photo albums in the photo gallery. please check them out and please vote on the photos you view by clicking on the stars beneath.
26-dec-2003CHRISTmas i have no christmas feelings. i'm not very found of christmas decorations or santa claus. in our family we don't have alot of christmas traditions, this year we skipped the christmas presents and hung out at a local shelter for homeless people and bums.
i guess the only thing that can give me real christmas vibes is the swedish song 'himlen i min famn'. carola does a good version on her latest christmas cd. but the best is listening to my friend maria augustsson performing it live.
but in one sense it's christmas all year around. the fact that jesus came to earth is a source of good vibes availible independent of jingle bells, christmas presents and snow!
26-dec-2003mansfrulle the annual mansfrulle (a homecoming breakfast the day before christmas) was really nice. we hung out, got updated on eachothers lifes and finished the whole thing of with playing soccer.
there are photos in the photo gallery. i also uploaded the group shot we took after the game in the original size and quality for your viewing pleasure.
26-dec-2003falsetto follow-up the falsetto night went pretty well. good shows, nice people and no technical problems. i had hoped for some more people though and also for the people who came to buy more in the cafe. i guess the snowstorm held some people back from coming. so i lost some money but on the other hand i have enough bread to keep me going until march.
thanx goes out to the bands, ida-marie, simon&gustaf, the lee sisters and all the other people that helped out!
26-dec-2003apologies dear reader,
it's been very long since my last update. please accept my apologies and sincere request for forgivness. things have been hectic and i've been lazy. ;-)
i don't know how frequent my updates will be during the next week and a half or so. i'm going up north to visit some friends over new years and attend a wedding shortly after that.
15-dec-2003falsetto i can't hide it anymore. it's pulsating through my body, spinning in my head and shining through my eyes. (how i wish those words were about being in love.) on the 21st of december something fantastic is happening in örebro and i just can't contain myself. i got to tell it to the world and that's what i'm trying to do right now and when i'm e-mailing, putting up posters downtown and handing out flyers.
may i introduce to you *drumroll* the great falsetto pop concert. it's happening, it's about to happen in less than a week! samuel larsson [ÖREBRO] will open the night with his fragile and slow songs. house wife lovers [MALMÖ] will continue with their minimalistic guitarpop and wonderful falsetto melodies. eskju divine [NKPG] is the last live act and will grace the evening with their melodramatic pop that sounds sort of like a coldplay from the 80's. three shows with different kinds of music but two things in common; pop and falsetto.
the entrance is only 10 SEK so everyone can afford it! more information in swedish.
15-dec-2003new photos i just uploaded a new photo album in the photo gallery.
15-dec-2003lisa miskovsky yesterday i saw lisa miskovsky play in örebro. she's really good and i was impressed with her singing and guitar skills. the songs are good as well, but i already knew all that. what made the concert a little extra was her exhuberance and charizma and the way she gave of herself in the songs. the emotions behind the words.
11-dec-2003new photos i just uploaded three new photo albums in the photo gallery. please check them out and please vote on the photos you view by clicking on the stars beneath.
10-dec-2003tommie & lisatommie sewón is opening for lisa miskovsky when she's playing @ klubb söndag here in örebro.
10-dec-2003i'm not sick (but in pain) i'm well after the fever stuff that i battled with and i've started working which feels good.
yesterday i pulled a wisdom tooth so i'm in pain and my wallet is pretty empty. my tooth was stuck pretty bad so first they had to grind it down to a smaller size. then they started bending with the pliers which took a very long time.
6-dec-2003i'm sick 4 it's getting better.
6-dec-2003i don't have a tv sometimes it feels like people don't live their own lives anymore. they live through consuming products and consuming the pathetic lives of people on tv. so many people spend hours a day watching soap operas, "reality-tv" and other crap where they live through emotionally and intelectually participating in the lives they watch. then they discuss what they've watched with friends, family and colleagues. it's so sad that people spend so much of their own lives on something so extremely fake (even though it might be dubbed "reality").
it doesn't make it any better that the lives of the people on tv are often tragic and just fucking ('this is a youth publication' > read the linked article in my previous post ;-) pathetic. today i read two articles on "famous people". one about hollywood and one about sweden, they are both i swedish though. it's just so bad and so sad and so...i don't know.
we need to start to live. not just consume other's twisted life through a screen.
4-dec-2003fuck a pretty funny news article about the infamous f-word.
4-dec-2003i'm sick 3 it sucks!
2-dec-2003i'm sick 2 i think i'm really sick, i feel weak. returning from the grocery store, just a block away, i had to sit down.
please feel sorry for me! ;-)
2-dec-2003i'm sick i should be working. instead i'm sitting in my apartment with a severe cold. i'm feverish and my throat is so sore.
it actually feels pretty good to be sick. i think it's my body forcing me to rest. i'll try to recieve that rest and hopefully return with full force in a few days.
30-nov-2003bed time the last day of november is just about to end. i don't know why i wrote that first sentence, probably because that's what passed through my head. but i don't know why i thought that. today i don't now if i've been thinking much at all. i've been dead tired since yesterdays 16 hours of work. if i've been thinking at all, everything has been very slow and random.
so it's gonna be very nice to get some sleep. a quick stop in the bathroom and i'm ready for bed. good night!
24-nov-2003new photos i just uploaded five new photo albums in the photo gallery. please check them out and please vote on the photos you view by clicking on the stars beneath.
23-nov-2003today i just came back to my place after a nice dinner @ the chutney hut, an indian restaurant formerly known as cafe india. it was me, my sister hanna and my dad.
we came to the restaurant straight from church which was fantastic this morning. i had the privilege to baptize five people together with my friend daniel bergdahl. that was superb and made me so happy. rickard thoursie, one of the pastors, preached really good about god's judgement. it was just really really good. he explained a very difficult subject with alot of insight in the bible and in a way that made sense.
in half an hour i'm going to the chill klubb söndag to catch idde schultz and anna stadling play. tommie sewon is the opening act and i'm looking forward to relax to some good music.
22-nov-2003books i'm trying to wrap my mind around bookkeeping for my recently started business. it's not easy!
18-nov-2003lovers 2 house wife lovers has just made a new a website and it leaves you craving for more. more mp3s, more mustache and more drama. but still, they now have a website.
17-nov-2003lovers it's been spinning in my cd player many times now, the first house wife lovers demo. since i'm not the best in describing music i have borrowed a review from the swedish music magazine groove.
spröd falsettsång draperad med två minimalistiska gitarrer som envetet hamrar åttondelar och återhållsamt presenterar de mesta bästa popmelodier. dessutom kryddat med smakfullt mycket elektronik. det är svårt att egentligen dra några musikaliska förebilder, ena stunden kommer man att tänka på en high-tech-version av modern lovers, ibland hamnar de någonstans i början av nittiotalets postrocks-chicago - fast det är egentligen ganska långsökt. för house wife lovers är oerhört personliga och självklara i sitt uttryck. lite falsett är ju heller aldrig fel.
for those of you who don't understand swedish or would like to get your own impression you can download a song from the demo > house wife lovers - house of love.mp3.
not their best track according to me, but still pretty darn good!
16-nov-2003radio have you ever been in love?
that's what the girl was singing on the radio as i switched off the car engine. her question was ringing in the silence as i stared through the windscreen into the empty night.
well...have i ever really been in love?
16-nov-2003blindside the guys in the swedish rock band blindside will release their new album about a burning fire on the 24th of february. that's at least the american date for the unveiling of the much anticipated album. billy corgan (smashing pumpkins, zwan) helped out with guitars on one track reports the launch website.
blindside has already unveiled a new website with some new content and a new webstore with alot of cool things. the classic manga girl t-shirt and the man of sorrows t-shirt have been reprinted and are stocked in the store.
14-nov-2003exciting stuff there are so many things i wanna do and so many exciting ideas and just a whole lot of excitement for the future.
god help me choose!
13-nov-2003king of pop these are fascinating times and things are evolving day by day. nothing is what it seems and nobody knows what's behind the next curve. who would just a few years ago think that a soccer player could be voted the greatest pop culture icon? well according to VH1 viewers david beckham is the king of pop!
13-nov-2003king of atmosphere today the swedish newspaper nya dagen published an interview with gothic country rocker david eugene edwards of 16 horsepower and woven hand fame.
12-nov-2003funny it's healthy to laugh and it's healthy to laugh at yourself. i've put together some links with funny things concerning christians and the church. what christians believe is super serious and my personal conviction is that god is absolute truth. but sometimes christians take themselves to seriously and i personaly need to recognize that i can't know the absolute truth.
there is a site called larknews that sports the title "a good source for christian news". it is also a good source for a laugh and relates to american christians as the onion to america in general. the onion also has archived articles on religon.
a classic is the brittish site ship of fools which is a little nicer and with a wider range of content.
alot of people are sick and tired of the wwjd? (what would jesus do?) craze with bracelets, t-shirts, singles matchmaking, records, videos, thongs, necklaces and just about everything you can sell. now there is a new way to ask yourself that question and a new way to get people around you to wonder wtf you are all about. order your very own wtfwjd? clothing and gadgets!
also check out rejected hymn titles, funny church signs and for a sureal experience of laughter mixed with tears and chock visit this (self)obsessed (car)man.
i apologize for anyone i have offended by my links or by what i have written. but please try to let out it little laughter before you send me hate messages!
10-nov-2003mörker one of the greatest welfare problems among young ppl must be introvert depression. darkness, lack of meaning and direction, guilt, hating yourself, disgust for your own body and on it goes in a list of depressive and destructive feelings tormenting so many.
it makes me sad and furious at the same time. i just think it's fucked-up that this has such a grip on several of my friends that feel that they are entangled by this and can't get free.
again i feel like i wanna fight the evil one. i wanna beat the hell out of him, or rather beat him all the way to hell.
in my dark times i cling to jesus, it's not a quick fix or a ticket to shallow happiness. but jesus is who live for and he is my hope no matter how dark it is or how damned i feel.
08-nov-2003new photos i just uploaded a new photo album in the photo gallery. please check it out and please vote on the photos you view by clicking on the stars beneath.
08-nov-2003- i'm sitting here wanting to communicate something. but i can't clothe it in words or images. i'll leave you with a little quote to ponder on:
life's a bitch...and then you die! ;-)
05-nov-2003don't shop my family and i have made a decision not to buy eachother christmas presents. instead we will try to express our gratitude towards eachother with creativity, poems, hugs and spending time together. the time and money that we deny the god of consumerism (a.k.a. santa ;-) we will spend on some project for people that does not have the luxury of a family or a warm home. we have not yet decided which project but we have thought about the homeless and lonely that lives in our town and are looking up existing initiatives for these people.
we have individually been inspired to do this and when we came together for a meal a few days ago we were suprised to find that we all had the same thought. for more inspiration you can visit the site for the canadian buy nothing christmas campaign. they have interesting thoughts on the subject and cool posters to put up in your home, on announcement boards, in churches or at work.
30-oct-2003new photos i just uploaded four new photo albums in the photo gallery. please check them out and please vote on the photos you look at by clicking on the stars beneath.
30-oct-2003i'm back i've been back in örebro a few days now. i had a good weekend away and it was cool to visit the neighborhood where i grew up.
i came back to an intense week and i'm tired, but today i've been able to chill for a bit.
25-oct-2003news thursday's lectures went well for thoose of you that wonder. i'm now at my relatives place having a really good time.
22-oct-2003going to bed three hours left...
22-oct-2003new adventures in four hours my alarm will go off and i have to crawl out of bed. tomorrow i will do something that i've never done before; i'm going to give lectures on a school with academic status. the lectures that i'm giving does not give academic credits or anything like that, it's just that i'm new to speaking in such an enviroment.
i'm not doing this on my own though. i'm joining lasse johansson, my teacher and friend, on one of his speaking appointments. we have a full day of lectures on this school called korteboskolan outside jönköping. the theme of the day is "youth culture and the future of the church".
my tummy is behaving a bit wierd manifesting the tension and fear that i'm hiding from myself. i will be dead nervous, but i'm pretty sure it'll all work out. after all lasse is the head honcho and i'm in the background.
after that i'm visiting my relatives (the liljegren family) in höllviken, just south of malmö.
22-oct-2003- human beings are so fragile. we don't live forever, we can't make it on our own and this world we live in is not exactly safe, loving and friendly.
21-oct-2003opeth & extol opeth & extol are on a scandinavian tour. they're stopping in örebro on the 29th of october playing at downtown. tickets can be bought at najz prajz records.
it's gonna be really nice catching extol live and hang out with them again.
21-oct-2003slacker i've really been slacking off with updating this news page. something i think sucks and i'm hoping to be more active now when the lowering temperature makes playing disc golf and beeing outside in general alot less nice.
21-oct-2003body check 2 yesterdays game of floor hockey was much better. or maybe it was just my body that was better prepared.
14-oct-2003letter hey god!
thanx for letting me experience you. it's so important to me and it's something i'd like to share with everyone. thanx for reminding me not to be to caught up with myself and all my thoughts, plans and concerns. i do need to give myself some rest from being the one who has to be everywhere, see everyone and be everything.
help me to see myself in a larger context and rightly judge my importance. not underestimating myself 'jante'-style and not overestimating myself and give my person to great dimensions.
but i do wanna help out god. i wanna help people and i wanna help you. please, let me do that in a good way. help me not to be burnt out but instead be wise with my priorities and to ask for your help, for your holy spirit to guide me and strenghten me.
you're the best. i really love you. thanx for what you did on the cross, dying for my being shitty. you're my god, forever.
14-oct-2003- my days are full of meeting people. i meet new people and old people. boring, extravagant, energizing, loud, disturbing, interesting...you name it. i meet tons of people all the time. and i find that tiring. so here is another complaining news update from me. (like you came to my site to listen to my crap?)
this week only i will meet more than 50 new people that i should remember names of and make connections with. add to that all the old connections, friends, colleagues, the kids i work with, business contacts, network partners etc. it really is tiring.
i hope i don't loose myself in trying to gain the whole world.
14-oct-2003body check my body is totally beat up after yesterday's game of floor hockey. my elbows are bruised, my fingers are bleeding, my muscles are sore, my butt is hurting and my joints feels as flexible as thoose of a 200-year-old. i'm such a wuss!
6-oct-2003dead i saw dead poets society again last night. it makes me so sad and so pissed off to see the way people treat eachother in that movie.
with tears in my eyes i cursed the father of lies and deciever of mankind and if i had the chance i'd be up for a fist fight with that sucker!
1-oct-2003new photos i have a new photo on the cover of my website. i also uploaded a new album in my photo gallery. please check it out and vote on the photos you look at by clicking on the stars beneath.
30-sep-2003back in town i just came back from a few days away. i visited swedens largest book fair and met friends in gothenburg and stockholm. i also went to namur's release gig which was really good but pretty short. go to their site and buy their new album which is incredible!
29-sep-2003... my stomachache have been fading away and is pretty much gone. but it was bugging me for several days and disturbing my sleep and stuff. it was probably stress related and i need to relax more. well...this coming week doesn't look like it will be offering alot of relaxation :-/
23-sep-2003.. my tummy still hurts and i can't sleep.
23-sep-2003. my tummy hurts bad as...really bad. and i'm tired and i'm feeling sorry for myself.
i think the best cure is to go to sleep and forget about it. good night!
19-sep-2003fair trade or maybe i should write that as a challenge to you:
trade fair!
16-sep-2003exciting times ahead i'm excited about the fall and winter. i have several things that i'm looking forward to and i feel that god is with me. thanx god!
13-sep-2003what is love? people need loving the most when they deserve it the least. (john harrigan)
alot of people nod their heads in agreement when they hear this popular quote. do they really mean it though? would they like to hug usama bin laden?
i know i want to. not because i have swelling emotions for this man or because i agree with his actions. not at all, but because my master told me to:
you're familiar with the old written law, 'love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'hate your enemy.'
i'm challenging that. i'm telling you to love your enemies. let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. when someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your god-created selves. this is what god does. he gives his best--the sun to warm and the rain to nourish--to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty.
if all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? anybody can do that. if you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.
in a word, what i'm saying is, grow up. you're kingdom subjects. now live like it. live out your god-created identity. live generously and graciously toward others, the way god gives toward you.
(Mat 5:43-48)
12-sep-2003website overhaul i've made some changes on the website and i hope that you'll get used to the new stuff.
the start page has a new name; it's called news, thoughts and mixed feelings since that is pretty much what it is. i've also removed the words page and incorporated the entires on that page to this one.
i also made some updates on the music page.
12-sep-2003death yesterday was dark. alot of people remembered what took place two years ago when two airplanes crashed into world trade center. yesterday was the 11th september. families grieved their lost ones and images of panic and destruction was once again projcted on our retinas.
yesterday sweden's minister of foreign affairs died. she died from the wounds she recieved from an unknown man stabbing her while shopping. anna lindh is grieved by her family and friends and missed by colleagues and by the whole of sweden.
it has been said that anna lindh died in the fight for a better society. that she died in her desire to contribute to an open and democratic society. sweden is in shock and what has happened is really awful!
but in all of this i also want to add another perspectiv when it comes to death and dying for a cause. each day more than 400 people is put to death because of their belief in jesus. more than 400 people that rarely get any headlines, no memorial services and no condoleances. but they do leave families torn apart by fatal evil, they do leave stains of innocent blod on the hands of their fellow beings. and they do this because nothing in the world, not even the threats of death, will make them deny jesus, their love and their everything.
paul, one of the most diligent writers in the bible, tells us to pray for fellow believers being persecuted like we were in their place. 200 million christians face persecution every single day. being imprisoned, threatened, discriminated against, tortured, raped and sold as slaves.
there is a fact that is true about every single human being; our hearts will stop. the blood will cease in bringing oxygen to our cells and life to our bodys. this life is not forever. but personally i firmly believe in life being forever, and often that's what keeps me living life in this fucked-up world.
i guess that's one thing i want with this text, to make you think about life and death, and maybe life again. i also want to take a stand against evil and violence. watching michel moore's bowling for columbine for the third time yesterday once again confirmed my belief that what we need is love, forgiveness and understanding breaking through the hate, selfishness, fear and isolation that is twisting our experience of life. i want to ask you to stand together with me and choose to live and speak for love and mercy. to try to make an impact on our communities, politicians and the business world. but also to choose to love and forgive the people around us and extend mercy even to those who treat you bad at work. in the words of the aforementioned paul;
don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good. (rom 12:21)
12-sep-2003namur i'm listening to namur's coming album conquer me which will be released around the first of october in sweden. the album sounds really good and i'm just swept away by david's voice and the longing and passion always present in his music.
i recommend everybody to come to tranan at odenplan, stockholm on sunday evening the 28th of september to take part of the release party.
10-sep-2003photos two new photo galleries. please feel free to vote and comment on the photos!
9-sep-2003resource i'm a gatherer. for a long i time i have denied it. i thought my mom's influence of a simple lifestyle and throwing away things that are not necessary was stronger. but as i moved away from my parents place it's been so obvious. i constantly gather and my smal flat is filling up with stuff.
this doesn't have to be all that expensive. i'm a big fan of free magazines and collecting other peoples trash. :-)
no matter what it is i gather i want it to be useful. i think that is why i keep on gathering knowledge, goods, connections and experiences. i want to be able to do something with it. i wan't to be a resource for people around me. i wan't to be able to give you a cut out article on existensialism in french punkrock, lend you a book that will inspire you, help you with a photo gallery on the web, give a piece of advice concerning digital cameras, help you with the number to the person you're looking for, sell you an excellent portrait (when my company is up and running), exchange experiences of how jesus can help in depression and throw fun parties or whatever. i wanna make a positive contribution, i wanna be a resource.
9-sep-2003destination: jkpg tomorrow i'm off for the day. i'm attending this meeting with people that are involved in different christian youth stuff in sweden and i'm really looking forward to it. i think it'll be exciting and i'm hoping to bring some dreams and ideas into the mix.
9-sep-2003silly chair i'm sitting in my new comfy chair by the computer. i had the chair boxed in my apartment for weeks cause i couldn't make up my mind whether to keep it or not. well i made up my mind this morning! and i'm very pleased with it and my back praises my mind for winning the fight over my wallet.
the winning argument in the fight was the wellbeing of my back as i spend long hours in front of the computer, both on my spare time, with my job and with my company.
4-sep-2003silly metaphor there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
3-sep-2003klubb söndag a few friends has a rock club in örebro. it's called klubb söndag and it's a really nice club. the first acts for the fall are booked and the rooster includes exciting artists such as moneybrother, jose gonzales, damien jurado and rosie thomas.
if you can read swedish, like music and live close to örebro i suggest you go to the klubb söndag website and check it all out!
3-sep-2003reflection i'm running my ass off trying to keep up with life. that's how it feels at the moment. where does all these oppurtunities, connections, friends, chores, thoughts, duties, options come from?
or is it all just about my inability to say no and focus on fewer things? is it just my childish desire to take part of everything? i need focus, priorities, discipline and structure and not because i have to. i do really want these things!
at least a tad more of them...i don't wanna become a rigid and uptight person. but a tad more discipline would not make me rigid...i would need an ocean of discipline for that.
1-sep-2003weekend report this weekend has been the weekend of meeting people and having people stay at my place. i'm a bit tired as one of the meeting places was a wedding where i was the official photographer. (photos to come in my photo gallery)
yesterday i had a few friends over really late and we were playing cards. my sister ida-marie was having a hard time choosing which card to play and we were pushing her to make a decision. my friend and colleage anna sundberg tried to ease the situation by saying "in situations like this i always tell myself that it's not the end of the world if i play the wrong card." we all burst into laughter and another good freind called erik wärlegård could hardly contain himself as he's really competetive and get's into sports and games with his whole being. i dunno if it's funny reading this, maybe you have to know anna and erik to fully understand what vibes her honest and kindhearted remark made.
28-aug-2003humbleness i was in a meeting earlier tonight. i'm involved in this project with a few friends and we met a man who has alot of global connections and has alot of experience. and although he has spoken to presidents and personally knows people in various positions of influence he was such a humble and down to earth person. i just felt like sharing that.
28-aug-2003photos i just uploaded a whole bunch of photos in several new galleries. they can be found in the photo gallery. please feel free to vote and comment on the photos!
28-aug-2003food i'm bad with eating properly. it has nothing to do with eating disorders (i hate eating disorders for destroyig the lives of so many, including people close to me. go to hell for killing my sistren!) or anything like that. it's just that i've skipped eating due to stress and my divergent mind too many times, so i've strangled my hunger feelings.
and why do i write this? i ask myself as i'm sitting in front of my computer...ah, now i recall, i just remembered that it was a very long time since i ate and that i should probably let something slide down my throat...i'll go do that straight away.
25-aug-2003örebro the comunity vibe i have going in örebro (the city where i live) is reaching new frequencies. when i'm downtown i always bump into people i know.
sometimes i just wanna be anonymous and mind my own business. but i really do like the community vibe; i live in örebro, i'm a part of the community, i have alot of friends and connections here, i want to influence this city. yeah, i like it!
25-aug-2003fall update i'm really looking forward to this fall. it'll be exciting to see what turns my company takes. i think god is up for something concerning me personally. there are several intressting projects going on. (a swedish SPEAK network being one of them.) but most of all i think i'm looking forward to what will happen in filadelfiakyrkan (swedish only) where i work.
we've got a cool groove going. first of all we long for more of god. and alot of people are dedicating themselves in a new way. we also have some cool things coming up, like a bible school thingie with this guy called mikael hallenius.
so yeah, i'm diving head first into this fall hoping by god's grace that i won't belly flop.
25-aug-2003company i just started one, a company. it has no name yet and that's very frustrating. i've been spending many hours in front of my computer looking up different names. but either i'm not allowed to register them in sweden or their domain counterpart on the web is taken. but tomorrow i'll call the swedish authorities and check some decent options i have.
the company will only be a part-time thing. i think that the majority of customers will be newspapers and magazines buying photos and articles. at least that's my prognosis. but i have to get the word out and work on some connections i have. so we'll see what happends.
18-aug-2003todays exciting news i just finished a short workout with my dumbells after playing a game of tennis with a friend. so i'm pretty exhausted. and my mom just called and invited me and another a friend over for lunch. my mom is super kind.
now you know!
16-aug-2003koma i wrote about the upcoming koma debut a few weeks ago. the release date has been pushed back until january 2004.
for more info visit the redesigned and updated koma website.
16-aug-2003coverboy you might think i'm becoming cocky or high on myself, but this is just me sharing my thoughts:
again i'm on the cover of a christian publication. first it was sweden's christian newspaper, then came the streetbible and now it's sweden's major christian book catalouge. that together with photos i've taken gracing three books published this year connects the words cover and (longing)boy in a strange way i would not think possible a few years back.
as if that is not enough i've been in the local newspaper this summer representing "christian t-shirts" ;-) and soon there will be a long interview with me in my denomination's magazine; EFK-direkt.
okey, i know i'm not a celebrity or anything. but it feels wierd having people come up to me that knows who i am while i have no idea who they are!
i visited a friend a while ago. later when my friend told someone she knew about my visit, the shocking reply she got was: "do you know him? he's famous!". what is that?
i'm just sharing my confused thoughts on this subject...to all my friends out there: promise to keep me down to earth if i'll start becoming high on me and myself.
16-aug-2003fall the sun is setting earlier each day that goes by and fall is just around the corner. this fall will come with some change for me. i will only work half-time at my job. the rest of the time i've been planning on studying philosophy or sociology but i don't know if i'll come around doing that as the lectures might clash with my obligations at my job.
if that won't come around i'll probably work some with my newly started company. which means journalism, photography and preaching...or something. we'll see what happends.
16-aug-2003happening place it's time to get more active with my site after a summers rest and some camp/festival frenzy. i plan on updating the individual pages in the coming week and i also have some plans on a slight change of the design, nothing much, just a little something for the eye.
13-aug-2003update with some crazy ragga beats massaging my eardrums i'm letting out a load thanx to god who's just the best, totally incomparable and my greatest love!
the camp and the festival is over and i'm satisfied but tired. i'm not entirely satisfied with my part and i totally have to learn to plan well ahead instead of late night prepareations leaving me exhausted and grumpy. but greater than my efforts and failures is god who just continues to be faithful.
to all the people out there that do not know god; i so wish i could explain just how fantastic god is!
06-aug-2003what's going on? as i warned you earlier on i'm mad busy and i havn't had a chance to update. the camp is over and it was really good. the festival starts tomorrow and i'm excited and a bit frightened.
28-jul-2003photos in a few hours i'm off for camp and after that i'm diving straight into the festival and the preparations for that. so it'll probably be hard to contact over the coming weeks.
i have some mixed photos up from the last two weeks or so. go to the photo gallery or straight to the new photo album.
26-jul-2003pennybridge to all örebro-residents:
do you wanna get rid of a small apartment or do you have a room for hire. i know some people that would be very thankful for that.
please contact me if you have something to offer.
26-jul-2003suckiness why am i so stinkin bad with doing things in time? why do i keep repeating the same mistake. i keep procastrinating to death. i suck!
the coming 60 or so hours will be jam packed with stuff to do and i'm going to bed early tonight cause i don't think i'll have alot more sleep until we arrive at the youth camp i'm setting up.
i'm not totally down or anything. it just feels good to vent here. to open my window to the digital universe and say: "hey world, this is my crap. it matches your's pretty well and i guess we're all just looking for a fix. or a bat to hit stuff with. or an answer. or the escape button. or some of that juicy unconditional love.
24-jul-2003koma in a crashing wave of angst and love koma will release it's debut album 'tsunami' in november. the members of the band has played in, and still plays in, bands such as cult of luna, refused(rip), plastic pride(rip), the perishers, scared, falling down etc.
visit their temporary website and download some early demo recordings.
24-jul-2003blindside blindside has finally released the news of their upcoming album. my heart has been bursting to tell the world about this for a month now but my lips has been sealed.
21-jul-2003coming up this week is the last of my vacation and i'm spending most of it on...work. the two first weeks when i get back to work are the two most important and action packed weeks at my job. first it's a one week camp with all the young people from church. this year we'll be 80 people and i'm supposed to be in charge. the week after that it's time for the frizon festival that i'm very involved with.
so i have alot of things to prepare and i can't really be free, but i'll try to relax a few days at a friends cottage as well. anyways, i'm pupmed for the camp and the festival, they are both highlights of the year for me!
21-jul-2003back with a report hello world!
i'm back home and it's about time that i let you know what's happening. but before i go into detail of what's happening in my own little life; read and react:
alot of shit is going on in the world right now. the war in congo is still raging. it's the worst war since the world war 2. since it started in 1998 more than 4 million people have died and the numbers keep rising. let this guardian article open your eyes to what's going on outside the rich, well-fed, electronic, greedy, safe and egocentric sphere, called the western world, that i think most of you, my dear visitors, live in.
let it sink in, the death of 4 million people. normal people with families, dreams, feelings and worth, just like you and me. human beeings that have been sacrificed on the altar of greed, hate, power and ethnic conflict.
compare the congo war to the september 11th tradegy. is the death of 3000 americans (and alot of american dollars) larger a tradegy than the death of millions of africans?
fuck wars. to hell with western ignorance.
well...i should probably stop there and get on with my report from my trip. as i've written before i've been up north visiting friends: janne&karin (with families) in umeå and emma&stig-helmer in örnsköldsvik. the weather has been hot and i've been to many beaches trying to cool down in the merciless sun. merciless in stregth and endurance, it never totally sets during the summer up north. so it's still light in the middle of night. very wierd.
i've had a very good time. relaxing from work, hanging out with people i love, getting away from my ordinary setting, sleeping in and drinking iced tea drinks. thanx goes out to all the people that i have met and especially to the ones that has opened their homes to me.
photos from the trip can be found in the photo gallery. you can also click here to go straight to the specific photo album.
17-jul-2003still away just thought i'd let you know that i'm still alive. i'm still on vacation up north and i'll write more and upload photos when i get back in a few days.
09-jul-2003away tonight i'm off on another trip, this time to the northern part of sweden, home of the never setting sun. i'll be visiting friends and setting up a few things for the frizon festival. i think i'll be away for about a week or so but i don't really know.
09-jul-2003recluse report i totally forgot to report from my recluse weekend. well i'll tell you real quickly that i had a good time! i wanted to really calm myself down to be able to listen to myself and most of all to god. but for the fast pace me, two and a half days was not enough. i'll try to get a recluse week next time. i think i'd need that.
i did read a whole lot. three full books, two half books and snippets from the bible and a devotional book. i also took some photos that you can check out here.
08-jul-2003photo gallery yay! the photo gallery is up. press here.
04-jul-2003sthlm, friends
and photos		 i just came home from a few days in stockholm were i visited some friends. photos from the trip will come after weekend, as i've bought myself a simple digital camera.
i'm setting up a new photogallery where i hope to show both photos from the ever evolving story called my life and also some more artistic endeavors.
below is an excerpt from an e-mail i wrote earlier today:
i'm writing this on a train speeding through the countryside. it's taking me from stockholm to örebro. it's pretty hot, the laptop in my lap is certainly not cooling me off. meshuggah (hint: swedish band that living sacrifice names as their biggest insperation) is blaring from my headphones connected to my laptop and around me people are sitting looking very exhausted from a weeks hard work and the heat. cameron diaz is smiling to me from the cover of a magazine read by a guy my age with russian facial features.
my four week vacation started a few days a go and i've spent thoose days in stockholm meeting up with friends. it's been really nice and i've had a good time.
anyway, i'm hoping to do as little as possible during my vacation this summer, no crazy tour-de-americas this time. tonight i'm off to a remote cottage for a few days of living like a recluse. no phone, no computer, no newspaper, no tv, no people. just me, myself and god.
(the russian looking guy left, only to be replaced with another guy with russian features. but no magazine and no cameron diaz.)
04-jul-2003- i heard some people collect butterflies. some in the herd i have are dead, please contact me if you'd like to add them to you collection.
some are still alive though. and as they say;hope is the last thing that is lost.
29-jun-2003butter flies
28-jun-2003mr messy i've again come to the conclusion that i need more discipline in my life. i need a spine of determination and discipline in more of what i do.
cause i do alot of things and i don't have alot of time. combining that with the lack of discipline and lack of positive time awereness results in the mess that i am. in the words of lauryn hill:
i'm a mess that god is dealing with every day/.../how i can be less of a mess.
28-jun-2003vacation tomorrow is the last day at work before i go on vacation. i really need some rest and i'm hoping that i'll be able to really rest during the four weeks off i have before i start working again. i know i have to do some work-related things during my vacation but i really hope to be able to rest and spend time with god...which i find hard when i'm wound up in the whirlwind of work and activity that usually fills my days.
as i wrote earlier on i'm visiting some friends during the summer and that's something i'm really looking forward to.
28-jun-2003body
building		 i just finished working out on my dumbells...which i havn't really done in a few years. i'm much weaker and i have way less endurance compared to my time at the fire station.
i'm not set on becoming superfit ur anything. but i really need to move my body considering my job, which does not include alot of physical activity. i need to be in better shape in general so it would be good to take up running and i also need to build muscles in my back. both my mom and dad are having problems with their backs and i'd like to avoid that.
23-jun-2003report and summer plans i'm back from torpkonferensen (swedish only) where i had a really good time. i met very nice ppl and heard some fantastic messages, especially mikael hallenius and my sister, hanna. they both had superb messages.
i have a day off now and after that i do my last week at work before i go on a four week vacation which will be very nice. right now i have about three thousand small things to fix and think through, i hope i can summon myself enough to go through all the work related ones during this week and then i'll have time to explore my personal ones during my holiday.
i havn't really decided what to do during the summer. i'll spend most of the time at home, but i'll also visit some friends around the country, and maybe also in norway.
i hope you all have a good summer (i think that about 95% reading this lives in the northern hemisphere) with alot of sun, fun, love, friends, jesus, parties, waterfights and festivals. remember to drink water, love others and use sunblock!
19-jun-2003- this week torpkonferensen (swedish only) is held outside örebro, where i live. it has a great heritage and this is the 118th conference beeing held.
it also means a great deal to me and this will be the 24th conference i attend, i've only missed one year and that was during my stay in australia. i've had many significant experiences on the conference grounds and although it's not as big for me as it has been it's still a speical thing for me.
this year my sister is speaking for the youth at the conference and i'm just about to leave town to listen to her.
19-jun-2003full day yesterday started pretty bad: i slept in. i just can't understand how i can get out of bed to shut the alarm off and go back to sleep again without remembering when i later wake up?! i went to work and did some work and met up with my workmate ricke.
i then cleaned out a car that i borrowed, thanx julia for letting me use your car!
i fixed another flat tire on my bike, went to the good-bye party of my very good friend stina. and then i finished the day off with watching return to paradise with my friends janne and karin.
17-jun-2003radiohead i'm home from the hultsfred festival (in swedish) where bands like radiohead, queens of the stone age, massive attack and the hives played. it was pretty good but the only show that blew me away was radiohead that played an absolutely beautiful two hour show. fantastic!
i'm pretty worn but i have the coming weekend off so i hope to recover during that time.
later.
9-jun-2003update again sorry that i havn't written anything here for a while. a few days ago i changed the menu on the site. before i had my e-mail addy there. i removed that and replaced it with a link to my contact form where you can reach my e-mail while i don't have to give my e-mail out to all the mortage/viagra/swinging/porn/weightloss companies out there.
3-jun-2003*lol* i found this on a FAQ of a web programming site:
Q: Does my Server Support PHP?
A: Good Question? I know just about as much about that as George W Bush knows about another country. I have no way of telling without actually knowing who your provider is.
30-may-2003- today the washington times has a pretty intressting article on the american rationale of war. this is the final paragraph:
despite such complaints, the american public appears untroubled by the rationale for the war. a poll this month by cbs news and the new york times found that 56 percent of americans believe the war was worth the loss of american lives, even if weapons of mass destruction are never found. only 38 percent said the war will not have been worth it.
is that how everything should be measured; what it means to america? why didn't they ask the americans if it was worth the death of several thousand civilian iraqis?
29-may-2003money two of america's richest assail bush tax cut
29-may-2003update i do small updates on my site all the time. but during the last coupple of days i've made several updates under words and links.
29-may-2003sadly undecisive for almost three years i've been thinking about buying a digital camera. i havn't made up my mind yet and i have several options to go with. one issue is weather i'm gonna commit to photography and invest in a digital SLR or just do occasional jobs and go with a pocket-sized one.
29-may-2003photography i found some great photos on the web. it's this dude mike slocombe that has a web design company but also a zine. part of the zine is a wonderful photogallery. the abstract photos are just so beautiful.
28-may-2003wow there is this web magazine called next-wave. it's about church and culture and how they work together, or how they don't work together. the site is not very beautiful but got some smashingly intressting stuff. they release a new issue every month and this months issue had some intressting stuff!
this guy dan kimball has just written a book called emerging church and next-wave has an interview with him and they also have an entire chapter posted on their website.
they also have this very long article/story/something about marriage from a pastors viewpont. it might seem boring but i find it very intressting. it's everything but rigid and old-fashioned, instead it tries to rediscover the original meaning of marriage in our time!
26-may-2003sad but true an article about why american evangelicals are among the most hated in a resent us survey.
23-may-2003the matrix
reloaded
no. 2		 it was just half an hour since i wrote my last post but i have to put into words some of my thoughts and prayers rushing through my head. to me a movie like matrix gives me huge feelings. it makes my chest heave and my heart pound. all it's explanations and questions about destiny, choise, purpose and existence; can you combine predestination and free will? and the seamingly timeless questions 'who am i?' and 'what is the meaning of life?'
*long sigh*
to me this brings me to god. to me he is more real than the computer i'm typing this on. more real than the screen i'm staring into. i'm not implying that we live in a matrix in the sense that we are totally oblivious to the reality whilst beeing totally enslaved. but i do believe that there is more to life than the physical realm. i believe that there are laws of existence greater than gravity. and i believe that the core of human existence is beeing loved by god.
i know that the matrix is in no way a christian movie. but to me the movie makes me face - in matrix lingo - inevedebility; god.
23-may-2003the matrix
reloaded		 *long sigh*
i just got back from watching matrix reloaded. what a movie. i don't know what to say, all i can do is sigh and go back to get another ticket so i can watch it again. i havn't digested or analyzed the movie and i can't...i think i will have to watch it again to be able to somewhat get a grip on it.
if you go to the theatre to watch it, do sit through the credits (even though they take a good five minutes or so) cause after them comes a short trailer for matrix revolutions hitting the theaters in november.
*long sigh*
22-may-2003time time is a wierd thing. in alot of ways...good night!
22-may-2003fall jobwise the first of july will be a change for me as a go from full-time to half-time at my job. i don't really know what i'll do with the rest of my time but i have a few options:
  • i've applied for studying sociology part-time at the local university.
  • i'm in the middle of registrating my own business and i might put more time into my photographic and journalistic endeavours through that.
  • i might find another job and i might just do alot of volontary stuff for organisations that i'm involved with.
but i trust god will help me stitch together my life and time and economic situation. so yeah, now you know a little of my thoughts about this coming fall.
19-may-2003/ i just turned 24 years old. but it doesn't feel like a big turn or change in my life. but i'm hoping that i would meet someone that turns me on, that would also be turned on by me.
prayer: hey god. i like women. i would like to love one of them.
18-may-2003hero hero wasn't as great as i thought it would be. i totally agree with it's fans about the great cinematography, but the story didn't really suit my tastebuds. all in all a very good movie though, just not as good as i thought it would be.
14-may-2003ship of fools

- or
laughing
yer ass
off for
jesus		 found on the web:
this past easter our church decided to have a special communion service. we are currently meeting in a borrowed auditorium with stadium seating. for everyone's convenience, there were two communion tables located down in the front of the room and one up at the top of the room in the back. the plan was for everyone to go to the nearest table, pray, take communion and then go sit back down.
my pastor got up to explain the process to everyone, as this is not the normal way we do communion. he explained it like this:
all of you interested in taking communion may do so as you feel led. for your convenience there are two tables here up front and one up in the rear of the room. so if you don't want to take communion down here in front, you can take it up the rear.
12-may-2003football i'm soon off to a game of football (soccer to the americans) in the swedish national league. my friend is the main guy in the local supporter club and they just got this massive shipment with five huge (and i mean HUGE) flags and tons of smaller flags. so although i'm not into sports i have to go and join the party and go nuts with a flag. silly me :-)
12-may-2003oslo i just came back from a few days in oslo, norway. i had my monthly weekend off and spent it with norwegians and ex-swedes in norway. i stayed with peter espevoll a really nice guy; alot of fun, sensible and loving god alot. some of you might know him as the singer of the trashmetal band extol (they WERE deathmetal) and the progressive punkrock-trash-metal band ganglion.
i also hung out with some other cool ppl and chilled at smoky pubs. thanx goes out to peter, hanna&anders and all the other ppl i met and a special godspeed blessing to subchurch!
10-may-2003the hours i entered the cinema alone. i was late and found my seat while the commercials with smiling people were flashing by on the big screen. i had heard that the movie was strong. but i had no idea about where the hours ahead would take me.
it took me deep. deep into the pain of life. the agony of existence. the quest for meaning. the all too familiar question 'why?'. the attempts to accept life's circumstances. the failure. suicide.
when the movie came to an end i was left bruised. as the other viewers were flowing out of the theatre and the credits were flowing down the screen, tears were flowing down my chins and i just sat there. floodlights came on and the cleaners started sweaping the floor. and i sat there bruised.
i am quite emotional and i have quite good imagination. the interwoven stories of the movie made a strong impact on me. during the movie my cheast heaved with the burden of frustration and pain. i sobbed and gulped with agony and desperation. and in the middle of all the emotions welling up from inside i also think i had a peak into god's heart. the heart that brought him to die for humanity on a cross. the love that bore all the pain, agony, loneliness and sin we as humans might experience.
i'm bruised by the movie as it hit me hard. but i hope that god's heart will impact me even more.
06-may-2003update
+bullshit		 i just changed small stuff on almost all parts of the site.
if this would be the end of the 90s my site would probably have had one of thoose "under construction" notices or images. but now we all know that it is the nature of all good websites to constantly be under construction. and my site is good. a star in cyberspace. the center of the world wid web.
05-may-2003kitchen disaster today i tried to bake theese choclate cookies. and failed miserably. so now i have wonderful tasting, but really wierd dough to eat out of the bowl.
29-apr-2003evil why? oh, why?
28-apr-2003guestbook after a very long time without a guestbook i finally sat myself down and worked on one until it was okey. so please go ahead and sign my guestbook
28-apr-2003internt till alla i fillagänget: visste ni att det finns en ö i lysekils kommun som heter..."röva"? fint va! ;-)
27-apr-2003life is
a mix		 today i celebrated my grandpa's 85th birthday together with the family. he expressed his sorrow and longing for grandma that he lost almost two years ago.
then we ate lots and had a good siesta.
21-apr-2003iraq<>the us the us has alot to live up to. mr bush talking about his love for the iraqi people, the claim that this is a just and even righteous war.
  • voices in the wilderness, originally a campaign to end the economic sanctions against the people of iraq, reports from baghdad.
  • laurent van der stockt, a photographer working for the gamma agency and under contract for the new york times magazine, tells us about what his eyes has seen in an interview.
for more news from the middle east that are independent from the media oligopoly, the curse of commercial ties and repression of allegiance to the existing power structures go to middle east report.
18-apr-2003a link found this pretty intressting page with alot of quotes on the old creation/evolution dilemma and various other tricky questions that has to do with the christian faith.
i don't have to have logical reasoing for every part of my faith as i believe that faith has an element of not beeing logical in the sense that you trust something outside yourself and the human realm; god - who can't be contained, explained or proved in a bunch of scientific tests or philosophical conclusions.
but still, intressting stuff.
17-apr-2003easter it's easter again. the weekend to celebrate the most influencial thing that has ever happend. jesus; his death and resurrection.
thank you jesus!
16-apr-2003van gogh for those who believe in jesus christ, there is no death and no sorrow that is not mixed with hope - no despair - there is only constant being born again and going from darkness to light.
14-apr-2003update i just updated the word page with a few entries.
14-apr-2003friend i just had breakfast with another friend named karin. what a totally cool thing; to have breakfast together. she came over to my place and we had a good two hours of eating and talking. super!
14-apr-2003longing boy longing: repress it or follow it without a will of my own?
14-apr-2003psalm 46:10 step out of the traffic! take a long, loving look at me, your high god, above politics, above everything.
14-apr-2003svenska fragment. det är nog min grej. att spotta ur mig fragment av identifikation, provokation och förhoppningsvis nån sanning.
jag skulle vilja mer fullödigt måla med ord. dra in mig och dig i en stor målning. jag skulle vilja projicera på cosmonovas jätteduk. innefatta och överväldiga med liv. som det är, som det var tänkt, som det kan bli, som det kommer bli.
färgerna på den gigantiska duken gör sig inte på en 14 tums tv, med svartvitt bildrör. ett fragment, monochromt.
jag vill berätta om något stort. så stort att jag inte själv kan överblicka det. så gigantiskt att inga tusen ord kan förklara det. inga tusen bilder beskriva det. inga tusen själar fånga det.
men jag är bara ett fragment. av liv. av livet.
14-apr-2003scribble MTV = emp-tee vee
13-apr-2003friends i really like karin&janne, they're great to hang out with.
12-mar-20031 kings 9:8-9
the bible		 i'm not into the whole bible code thingie and i'm not particularly found of toying around with bible verses. but when i heard this i at least thought it was pretty intressting. 11/9 8am-9am 2001, that hour was (and is) crucial for the whole world. if you open the bible to the 11th book, the 9th chapter and verses 8 and 9 you will read the following words.
And this house will become a heap of ruins; everyone who passes by will be astonished and hiss and say, 'Why has the LORD done thus to this land and to this house?'
And they will say, 'Because they forsook the LORD their God, who brought their fathers out of the land of Egypt, and adopted other gods and worshiped them and served them, therefore the LORD has brought all this adversity on them.'
10-apr-2003tummy it's early thursday morning. my tummy hurts and i need to feed it. i'm soon going to.
this weekend is my april weekend off, i have one weekend off a month. i wanna go visit some friends, i might go to umeå, oslo, stockholm or gothenborg...what i have to do is to pick-up the phone and check if anyone out there want's to have me come visit.
08-apr-2003update i just updated the link page.
07-apr-2003wassup? well, today is my day off and i'm sitting in my flat working my way through the list of unanswered e-mails, which is not an unusual task for me.
yesterday i preached in the church i work in. i wasn't as well prepared as i wanted to be. i wish i had worked through my reasoning more, but it's my own fault. god was good though and helped me so it went pretty well. i got alot of good feedback especially from the younger people. i guess the oldies might have been a bit offended by my talk about learning from the attac movement and writers like naomi klein and noam chomsky. but i truly beleive that the church has something to learn from them about how we can care for the poor and bring more justice to the situtaion for ppl from all around our planet.
i'm hoping that by the end of the day i'll have a company of my own. i've been saying that i should start one for ages now. and today might just be the day. wish me luck!
well...that is somewhat of an answer on the question 'wassup?'.
07-apr-2003danke schön! thanx to all the wonderful ppl i met in england. thanx for your hospitality and generousness with time, love and resources.
may god truly bless you!
30-mar-2003airport
affected
by the war		 yesterday i came back to sweden. on the airport i started talking to the other man waiting by the busstop. i soon found out that he was originally from iraq. he had both lived in england and in sweden but he was still an iraqi citizen. he had tried to catch a plane to england where he had managed to get a flat and was hoping to get a job as a software developer, which is his education, and as what he has worked in england before.
but he was not able to board the plane as they told him that england did not let in iraqis. he was sad and frustrated that the country which ruler prides himself with loving the iraqi people, would not let him in. in their propaganda the coalition continuosly say that the war is on the iraqi regime and not on the iraqi people. they even say that the coalition is in the war because of love for the iraqi people.
he was also very concerned with what was happening back in iraq as he had friends and family there. he was concerned about the lack of sensibility and geniune love that the coalition forces has. he had cried himslef to sleep and he told me that nightmares were tortouring him.
sitting there i felt very frustrated. i wanted to help, i wanted to change things and i wanted love and justice to rule. having ideals and longing for change can be tiring and drain you of energy. but i've once again decided to dedicate my life to serving others and seeing changes; in situations and individuals. my inspiration, my passion, my energy, my love comes from god and it is essentially god´s spirit that stirs me up to do good things.
may god help you ********* so you'll be able to go to england!
26-mar-2003oxfordshire i'm sitting in a house in the village of church hanborogh. a small typical oxfordshire village with alot of old stone houses, two pubs and about 300 people. it's a few miles outside oxford itself and i've been to town admiring all the great arcitecure, just hanging out with friends and done some dancing at the club ponana; a cool place but they didn't really play my type of music this particular night.
my stay in england is coming towards the end and i'm flying back early saturday morning. i'm free until next wednesday though and i'll probably go to stockholm for a few days setting up stuff with the frizon festival that i help out with.
24-mar-2003- i've had a good day; done some cleaning at "the squat" and also met some nice ppl. i'm just about to run to the post office and post some cards back to sweden.
i'm having a good time and enjoying god!
22-mar-2003nose i hate my f*cking nose when it's bleeding. tonight it kept me awake for almost the whole night...you sucker!
21-mar-2003LOVE not war
21-mar-2003publife hi!
sorry for not updating for a while. this apology is written in an abandoned pub i reading, england. i'm staying here with a few friends from sweden. it's sort of like a squat occupied by some idealists. but a bit more organized(a very tiny bit), less wild and in the name of jesus. behind my back a few crazy brits are getting fired up over a good ol' game of tony hawk skateboard on playstation.
/emmanuel - who just turned down a homebrewed jesus-beer
12-mar-2003spring the sun, warmth, light and life that comes with the spring is bringing me new energy. i've been a little worn lately but i feel better now. it's as if life is returning to me, just as the sap is returning life to the trees outside my window.
10-mar-2003prophecy? i just can't get it!
without an ounce of shame and humulity they're trying to buy the world to their side. they seem to have no understanding for anything originating outside their own sphere.
they remind me of the dragons in revelations; the emperor cult and the unholy trade policies of the roman empire. these are strong words and i'm hesitant to use them, but they seem more and more true to me, every day that goes by;
you are an abomination to god and you will fall, repent before it's to late!
8-mar-2003women today is the international women's day.
my apologies for the wrongdoings of men (me included) towards you women. my support for your fight and struggle for equal possibilities. my wish for a society where we are all able to express outselves and where we can all contribute to the wellbeing of others.
i love you.
7-mar-2003different this morning i was sitting on the tube in stockholm. i had a person to my right and two people sitting right across, infront of us. it was pretty tight so my knees was almost touching the knees of the person in front of me. he seemed to be happy; he was smiling and he was helpful to the person next to him. but all he got was sceptical glances from his fellow passengers.
i was sitting there trying to smile back (i've been having a private campaign; trying to smile and look postive when i'm walking the streets, riding a bus or just beeing out in the public) and encourage him in what seemed to be his desire to be friendly and positive.
it's so very sad that we shut eachother out creating an impersonal, unfriendly and cold social climate. the experience this morning has made me even more decided to be positive, helpful and open. why do we have to be so rigid? why do we try to put up such a cool mask for our surrounding? why can't we be more open?
i'd like to be more different than i am. not in an attempt to stand out and be "something". i just wan't to be different to the norm of putting up a facade and having a wrong sense of integrity.
3-mar-2003happy-happy
joy-joy		 today i fixed a flat tire on my bike. today the landlord fixed warm water in the shower. i am happy!
2-mar-2003cotton
solution		 my nose is bleeding again. i don't want my nose to bleed. my nose doesn't care what i want. maybe i should chop of my nose. but that would bleed even more. i guess i'll just buy some more cotton to stuff up my nostrils.
2-mar-2003not gallagher liam norberg told us like it is tonight. it is all about the love; the unconditional, uncompromising and uncomprehensibly huge love.
28-feb-2003clarification i'm venting alot of frustration and stuff here on the site and i've recieved worried remarks on how i'm actually doing. the answer is that i'm not on the verge of a losing my mind, neither am i enjoying life to the max. i'm somewhere in between and i'm somewhat confused. i don't know why really, maybe i'm...exhausted...or something?
anyway, i thought i'd just let you know that it's not like i'm really down and depressed. take care everyone!
26-feb-2003random
rambling		 i'm screwing around with a new guestbook but it's taking me ages to customize it to my sitedesign. hopefully it'll be up by the end of this week.
my body is messing with me; my nose is bleeding again, although not as bad as last sunday and i'm my stomach is in pain pretty constantly; all i hope is that it's not gastric ulcer.
i'm in a pressured situiation and i'm a bit frustrated, but i'll be fine if i manage to push through the coming few weeks.
good night!
23-feb-2003a gross
documentary

(sensitive
viewers
be warned)		 i spent this morning fighting against the flow of blood from my nose. from the time when i opened my eyelids in bed and one and a half hour from that my nose was gushing out blood pretty constantly. i stopped the flow with coagulated blood in my face both one and two times but it kept coming back and left my sink in a mess.
finally after trying alot of different methods the bleeding ceased. i havn't been able to follow my plan due to the aformentioned circumstances. i'll see what happends during the rest of the day, i hope i feel better in a while.
22-feb-2003silence in contrast to the last couple of hectic days, yesterday and today has been slow and quiet. yesterday i visited a friend who is a semi-monk at a semi-monastry. we were a group of friends taking a whole day with the brothers at the monastry as well as just hanging out and having a soft day. it was really good and i got yet another revelation about how important silence and the inner life is. there are som photos that i took during the day at my church's website.
today i've been keeping myself occupied at home. okey, it has not been "that" slow. but in between cleaning, doing dishes, playing soccer, washing clothes, oiling a table and various small tasks i've been able to just chill and have good time. just me, myself and god. i'm doing the same tomorrow and monday although i might see some more people tomorrow, although i hope i can keep myself quiet and cut-off.
18-feb-2003complaint i can't live like this much longer, i gotta shape up with sleep and eating. i have to find frames and support for my shivering, fragmented, hectic life.
today has been way to long. 20 hours ago i woke up, i worked for 14 hours in a row, the closest to a break beeing a worklunch. and after work i don't have the wisdom to get home, instead i hang out which is nice, but not always very good, at least not to late.
this information was brought you solely by willpower! *crash*
17-feb-2003namur the namur website has a totally new design and some new content. they've started recording for their next album which will be out this fall, they have two new tours coming up; denmark and the us will be graced with namur shows in a near future, no dates/spots confirmed yet. one thing is not new and remains the same with namur in the midst of all the changes; they still rank as one of my absolute favourite bands in the whole wide world.
16-feb-2003not up i just took the photo page down. so it's of little use following this link.
16-feb-2003defrosting
stiff
fingers		 my skinny ass just landed on the chair in front of my computer. my fingers are aching from the arctic temperatures of a swedish winter night.
clothes makes the man, so they say. in case they're right i'm a revolting teenager with a multiple personality disorder. i say it's bullshit, hopefully i'm right. if there is such a thing as right or wrong. in a time where the tyranny of tolerance has diminshed truth to something as relative as the taste of music, one can not be sure.
enough bullshit about clothes or relativity, to keep this entry short enough not to be transfered to the words page i'll move on with what happend today.
the service in church was really good this morning. nothing can be more real to me and life can never be as vibrant as when i encounter god. and i'm not just talking about some sentimental warmth while pondering on a picture with a white handsome jesus or in a moment of religous extacy. for me it's as real as it gets, nothing in life can be truer, nothing closer to the core of existece. remark: one does not have to go to a church to encounter god, but it's a pretty darn good spot, and today it was my spot.
so church was good and the rest of the day continued to be good. i had a friend over during the afternoon, tea and talk in my couch. then i went to this club where the music was really good, performed and spun, or however you conjugate spin. david (see yesterdays entry) was good, but he can do way better, he has alot of capacity. tomas was really good. he has a special way of communicting with words. it's sheer beauty, powerful content and emotion between the lines.
after that i continued to this other club where i hung out with some friends. it was fun and silly and i learned alot about various stuff. instead of going straight home after that i stupidly enough spent like 30 minutes out in the freezing cold. so that's why my fingers were stiff and froozen before. but now they're warm and mobile; mission accomplished.
broadcast terminated.
15-feb-2003live music i just got home from a hard music show here in örebro. three bands played; merciless, the haunted and cult of luna. although the haunted were headlining i was there to see cult of luna. because it's more my type of music and because my friend johannes persson plays guitar and is very much involved in the songwriting. they just released a new cd on the uk label earache records called the beyond. it has recieved tremendous reviews, the worst beeing 4 out of 5.
tomorrow i'll also see live music as the wonderful klubb söndag(swedish only) has it's first night in örebro. tomas andersson wij (swedish only) is headlining, but again i'm more intrested in the opening act; david åhlen from the wonderful band namur will do a solo performance and i'm expecting to be moved in mysterious ways.
06-feb-2003public
announcement		 i'm pleased to announce that tonight i'm going to bed fairly early and i'm planning on getting at least 9 hours of undisturbed sleep...which i really need!
04-feb-2003lag my brain is lagging but i've gotta write a little something so it's not as big a step to write here next time.
it feels like eternity, or at least a maternity, since i updated here. but you who have been with me for a while knows what i'm like...i have my ups and downs in my updating frequency just like in ordinary life.
16-jan-2003output wow! i just had a full day of stuff to do. almost 21 hours ago my alarm went off and my feet hit the floor...and i've been up and going since then: travelleing by car/bike/train. meeting new friends and old aqaintancies(spelling?). a several hours long meeting has taken place today and i've watched a movie with some friends.
i really need to hit the sack...but i just had to write here on the site. i'm just so full och feelings and thoughts and although i don't type them all out here i just had to type.
the movie we watched, donnie darko, was superb, wierd and just *gah* can't really describe it. it's a brilliant existensial thriller with lotsa braintwisting imagery, parallel layers and...i can't find the words as i'm almost falling asleap by the comp. so good night!
07-jan-2003. i'm getting more and more ready with making the appartment into a home. the curtains are up, the room smeels of insence, i got some photos up...and i got myself a computer :-)
if you want my new adress or my phone number home you can always e-mail me about it. i don't wanna put it here on the web.
well i'll try to start catching up with answering my e-mails... i think i have 70 or so unanswered e-mails that each needs attention from me so it'll probably take some time.
anyway...my sister is soon coming to pick me up and i need to do some stuff before that. i've made some very minor changes and updates...hardly noticable...but if you want you can lurk through my site and see if you can find them. (that's for all the avid readers of my site that i know are out there lurking)
07-jan-2003ecc 1:1-9
the bible		 meaningless! meaningless!
utterly meaningless!
everything is meaningless.

what does man gain from all his labor
at which he toils under the sun?

generations come and generations go,
but the earth remains forever.
the sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.
the wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.
all streams flow into the sea,
yet the sea is never full.
to the place the streams come from,
there they return again.
all things are wearisome,

more than one can say.
the eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.
what has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
25-dec-2002CHRISTmas hey everybody!
i hope that you're all having a splendid christmas. with lot's of good stuff and some god stuff as well. i've been having a good time; hanging out with friends and family, getting my new flat more set up and everything.
at my new place i don't have computer and until i get one my posting here and answering e-mails might not be as frequent. anyway, go back to relaxing and chilling and catch you later!
14-dec-2002new flat my throat is still a pain and i'm pretty tired and worn out. today i've packed alot of my stuff and dumped it off at my new flat. i'll move in there for real on monday.
it's a one room apartment with a real kitchen, 43 sq. meters in total. it's located near lövstahallen/doc holiday for you familiar with örebro geography.
i'm pretty happy but not extatic about this change in my life. i guess i'm a little over-all-dull at the moment.
14-dec-2002lauryn hill laryn hill is my current favourite. her new live double-cd is powerful. the lyrics are so good and she talks alot to the audience in between songs. in humble honesty and powerful passion she shares her life and her thoughts:
fantasy is what people wan't
reality is what people need
5-dec-2002goodness my throat is not very kind to me at the moment. it's a good thing that i meet so many kind ppl then. since my last update on this page i've met many good hearts.
sometimes it's easy to forget all the good stuff we experience. all the evil in the world, our own tormented lives and the devil tries to put us down...but there is something more. everything is not pitch black. there is so much to be thankful for; love, joy, understanding, beauty etc.
5-dec-2002lauryn hill like lauryn hill in "to zion" from "the miseducation of lauryn hill" i'm hoping that people in our educated, structured and terribly fucked-up society will choose to use their hearts:
unsure of what the balance held
/.../
but everybody told me to be smart
look at your career they said
"lauryn, baby, use your head"
but instead i choose to use my heart
//:now the joy of my world is in zion://
23-nov-2002updates i've made some minor updates in the pages on words, music and links.
23-nov-2002longing
boy		 after letting my thoughts soar on an e-mail my friend liz wrote i typed this reflection of my inner motion:
time moves on. i hope i'm living life, not just letting it pass. cause now is now and will never return.
it's not that i'm afraid of death... death is just the portal into real life. but that doesn't mean that life here is unimportant. life is a journey where the goal is the grand thing. but the journey, the road, is not merely transportation. life was made for living and now is the only time i can live it.
23-nov-2002guestbook a few weeks has passed without any posts from me here. here comes some highlights from this time:
  • the 10th of november i preached in my homechurch, baptistförsamlingen filadelfia in örebro. my message dealt with money, materialism and priorities. and although i was challenging the way we live our lifes in the western world, alot of ppl thanked me afterwards. i think it was because god was there and touched us.
  • i spent a weekend in oslo with my friend peter. we hung out and met some of his friends. he's alot of fun, a determined visionary and loves god. he's the vocalist of ganglion and extol and also he's one of the leaders of subchurch in oslo.
  • i've started taking this course called "young leadership". it consists of three two-day blocks with lectures, prayer, exchange of experiences and thoughts. so we've had the first two-day block and it was really good. it gave me alot of things to think about.
    • 3-nov-2002blindside
    & koma    		 blindside is touring europe supporting disturbed. when the bands hit swedish soil rumors are spreading that a third band will open for them. a newly formed band called 'koma' with members of several really good bands. this is all pretty new and nobody really knows exactly what's happening but i'll get back when i have more news aabout these experienced newcomers.
    anyway, there will be two swedish shows, one in stockholm and one inmalmö. for other european locations checkout blindside's tour page.
    3-nov-2002g.k. ches-
    terton    		 god gave us preachers to remind us that we will not live forever.
    god gave us poets to remind us that we’re not dead yet.
    3-nov-2002pedro
    the lion    		 paramedics, brave and strong
    up before the break of dawn
    putting poker faces on
    broken bodies all day long
    the neighbors heard a fight
    someone had a knife
    it must have been the wife
    the husband's lost a lot of blood
    he wakes up screaming "oh my god"

    am i gonna die?
    am i gonna die?
    as they strapped his arms down to his sides
    in times like these they'd been taught to lie
    "buddy just calm down, you'll be alright"

    several friends came to his grave
    his children were so well behaved
    as the priest got up to speak
    the assembly craved relief
    but he himself had giving up
    so instead he offered them this bitter cup

    you're gonna die
    we're all gonna die
    could be 20 years, could be tonight
    lately i have been wondering why
    we go to so much trouble
    to postpone the unavoidable
    and prolong the pain of being alive
    3-nov-2002guestbook i just realised that my guestbook is out of order. it seems like it hasn't been possible to post new entries for the last month or so...i'm working on it.
    3-nov-2002weekend *yawn*
    i just slept a little and it felt sooo good. i had a busy weekend, but i also had alot of fun. friday night i was invited to a dinner at my friend stina's place. she celebrated her birthday with a handful close friends and i was happy to be invited, it was real soft and nice. she's a terrific girl!
    30-okt-2002back in
    black    		 hi everybody!
    i've returned from my weekend off, i visited my friends janne and karin in umeå and we had a great time. just hangin' out, talking, eating and sleeping. we also met some other great ppl and all-in-all it was a very relaxed and cool weekend.
    30-okt-2002thanx thanx for sending me e-mails about the prayer subjects in the previous post. and if you want...keep praying.
    23-okt-2002long
    entry    		 yesterday i found out that some friends in the states has lost a close friend in a shooting. some minutes ago i recieved the news that an old friend has got deadly braincancer. if you believe, please pray for them, at least a minute right now in front of the computer!
    this added with all the suffering and pain and death and agony and disease and devastation and so on *sigh* sometimes it makes me wanna give up. will humanity ever progress far enough? will we be able to extinguish all sickness? will we ever learn to love one another?
    it makes me long for heaven, for my home. to be home with god, to be consumed by his love and to thank and worship him. but life goes on...it really does. giving up the fight for what is right and good or giving in to the depression of a fucked-up world, ending your own life, isn't the solution to anything.
    for me the solution is god. although i don't understand everything, although life pisses me off at times, although i continue to screw-up...god is my only hope. i don't believe in myself or humanity.
    sorry for starting to preach...all i intended with this entry was to write about the shooting and the cancer. but as usual with me, thought follow on thought and i find myself back at that familiar situation; in need for someone. someone bigger than my puny thoughts and attempts to understand, but in no way distant; jesus - god reincarnated as a human.
    well, i guess i should stop...the night is late and the words in my mind are plentyful.
    21-okt-2002- today i've been home all day, monday is my day off. for some wierd reason it feels like i havn't really relaxed. at the same time i havn't really done anything.
    it's the curse of my generation; never being content.
    21-okt-2002weekend
    follow-up    		 i'm back from the weekend. we had a really good time. most of the time was spent just hangin out, eating together and having fun. but i also held a bible study and we sang to god together, prayed for eachother and shared communion.
    21-okt-2002my words it's the curse of my generation; never being content.
    21-okt-2002a prayer by my friend liz we don't even know what to call you. "god" seems insufficient. but god, well...we don't even know what to say. we're so tired of just repeating words. we're so tired of hyping you up. we don't want to fake emotion anymore. to tell you the truth, we're tired of doing all the talking and we'd just like to listen for awhile. but we're afraid. afraid that if we shut up for two seconds, you might say things we don't want to year. we're afraid of what you might ask us to give up. because we don't know your goodness. we say we love you. we say we know you love us. but most of us don't believe it. maybe a few of us have really understood it. so we've been asking for you to "show up." but be more than just in the midst of us. do more than just show up. we want more than just your presence. we'd like to get to know you. and we'd like for you to get to know us as well. we know you know all *about* us, but we really want for you and us to get to know each other. we'd like to find out what makes you happy. we'd like to know what upsets you. we'd like to know why we're here and what's to become of all of this. we'd like to be free to tell you what's on our minds. really, we'd just like to be *free*. we'd like to learn how to simply breathe. we'd like to be free to realize that we don't always have to understand everything, but to learn to rest. we feel pretty lost most of the time. set us on the right path. help us. help us with the things we don't even know we need help with. protect us from the things we don't see coming. transform us into the image of jesus. help us to love each other, especially those different from us. show us what it really means to be the body of christ.
    17-okt-2002weekend tomorrow i'm going away for a weekend thingie with all the young ppl i work with. we're 75 ppl that are heading to this complex (in lack of better a word) in the woods of a small mountainrange.
    17-okt-2002biking i'm exhausted, i justed biked home from a friend as fast as i could. for some strange reason i've started to do that since i moved. it's probably cause it's longer to bike to most places i go to and i don't wanna waste time...anyway it's wierd.
    14-okt-2002writing i'm thinking about writing a debate article. i have something to say. it needs to be said and i think i can do it in a good way. we'll see what happends.
    14-okt-2002home most of my stuff is unpacked in the new apartment and i like living there. the big problem however is not having a broadband internet connection. slow modems sucks and it costs alot of money when you're used to being online all the time.
    14-okt-2002i'm a hopeless
    romantic    		 my colleague and friend rickard thoursie married anna-lena yesterday. it was a beautiful cermony and it was great to witness them and their shared joy. during rickards speach to anna-lena, tears were flowing down my cheeks, truly beautiful.
    14-okt-2002namur lyrics i’m not ok
    i wish i was
    but i’ve been infected
    yeah i’ve been injected
    with postmodern lies
    8-okt-2002back again things are coming together at the new place and most important of all is that the computer is up so i can update the site.
    8-oct-2002- george w bush, you make me sick.
    2-okt-2002sigh -
    1-okt-2002namur david åhlen from namur is featured as the artist of the week on the swedish site digifi.com's 'demobanken'.
    the two downloadable songs are awesome...he's got some mad talent!
    1-okt-2002blindside blindside is featured on www.bthere.tv with 30 min of behind the scenes footage. you have to endure some commercials and long downloads if you're on a modem...but it's worth it.
    30-sep-2002on the
    move    		 i'm moving with my parents this week, it's only a few hundred meters, but still an awful lot that needs to be moved. as i'm looking for an apartment myself i won't have a room on my own but stay in my sisters room...so hopefully i'll get a nice hide-out for myself pretty soon.
    27-sep-2002personal i'm having the weekend off and i'm going to visit my sisters. just so you know.
    27-sep-2002digital
    hype    		 i'm really hoping to update my photo-page soon, i have stuff i wanna upload. i just gotta work that scanner.
    27-sep-2002book plug in his book, son of a preacher man, jay bakker tells his short and tragic lifestory. his childhood was full of scandals and his family was torn apart. he started doing drugs and drinking alot to get rid of his anger and hurt. slowly he started coming back to the faith he had as a young kid but he still had a hard time with hypocrisy and legalism in the american church. he found himself beeing a pastor himself, not a very traditional one though.
    i can't capture the greatness of this book, it's not just a tragic lifestory. and it's not about a happy ending (though the ending is a little merrier) or anything like that. it's a lifestory where grace seems like a hell of a distance away. but slowly and gently god in his love and grace moves alongside this fucked-up kid. i recommend it to everyone, christian or not. it may not be a literal master-piece, but it's such an amazing story about life. as i said i can't really describe the book, you gotta read it yourself.
    here's some links if you wanna buy it:
    us: book closeouts 5.49USD + shipping
    uk: amazon uk 8.06GBP + shipping
    sweden: adlibris 148SEK + shipping
    25-sep-2002work today has involved a bike ride, many phonecalls and messy thoughts. i'm getting a better grip on who i am in a working situation. but i still have a long way to go with discipline, making priorities and delegating responsibility and resources.
    24-sep-2002winston churchill the inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings;
    the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.
    24-sep-2002proverbs 4:23 above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
    24-sep-2002revolution totally new part of the site added, a page dedicated to words.
    24-sep-2002misc the miseducation of lauryn hill, still keepin it real.
    24-sep-2002matter of
    residency    		 i'm moving in a few weeks time. i live with my parents and i'll move with my parents. i'm looking for a place of my own but it's kinda hard to come around one that meets my specs.
    24-sep-2002update slight updates on the info-page.
    24-sep-2002namur i saw namur the other day. they are so good! such feeling in both melodies and lyrics climaxing in david åhlens wonderful voice. give them a try!
    24-sep-2002balance sometimes i think i should focus more on what's here and now, carpe diem, you know. at the same time it's important to be a dreamer and to be visionary.
    i guess i'm stuck with thoughts concerning 'balance' again.
    balance; something constantly sought after, seldom found and easily lost.
    17-sep-2002- i feel a little worn right now, i'm a tad sick and i've been way to busy the last week. so i need sleep and massage. if you read this and want to give me massage, feel free to contact me anytime ;-).
    15-sep-200224-7 prayer we just started a week of 24-7 prayer in my church. it's really cool, god just shows up in a special way when you pray nonstop in a designated room like that.
    9-sep-2002updates i've been forgetful and lazy with updating the news. but here comes some stuff.
    first of all an update on the wedding photography. the photos turned out pretty well and i'm quite happy with them. i'm not entirely pleased though, especially not with the ones from the actual cermony. but the newly weds seems pretty satisfied with them, so i guess it's all good.
    in less then a week i'm shooting yet another wedding. this time it's sara johansson (swe) and sam hargreaves (uk) that are getting married.
    9-sep-2002blindside today the blindside album 'silence' is released in sweden. it's a great album and i recommend that you go and check it out. it can be bought in stores everywhere.
    today aftonbladet had an article about their recent us sucess.
    and for all the us readers; tomorrow, september 10, blindside will play on the Conan O'Brien show.
    25-aug-2002music i just gotta tell you about two bands i love! they're both from stockholm and they actually know eachother. one is getting big, one is getting started, both are awesome. one is hard, one is soft, both are passionate. i give you blindside and namur:
    blindside has been together as a band since 1994 and released two full length albums independetly. the 20th of august, a coupple of days ago, they released their major label debut on elektra records called "silence". elektra records is home of artists such as ac/dc, björk, the cure, metallica, tweet etc. the release was only for the us market and we in other parts of the world have to wait, rumors says that the swedish release date is in september.
    blindside's releases has all been different from eachother. their self titled debut was in the rapcore vein, with resemblance to early deftones. their second release, "a thought crushed my mind", was a hardcore album with alot of clean vocals, not just screaming. this new release is really hard to describe, the only thing i can say is that it's rock, it's got great melodies, the lead vocalist voice is awesome and...they just rock!
    namur is a totally different kinda band. they play electronic pop. some songs are groovy and makes you wanna move your body, other songs are fragile and slow with soothing falsetto vocals. all in all a super band. their debut cd "cherub dust", although versatile in styles, is a beautiful entity. it can be bought from the website of their label, crying bob records.
    25-aug-2002wedding yesterday i photographed my first wedding ever, i shot 8 rolls of film and had two bags full of stuff with me. i hope that it turns out okey...you don't wanna screw-up someones wedding photos.
    the couple that got married are my friends sara&magnus strandliden, good luck with everything!
    19-aug-2002update minor updates on the link page.
    18-aug-2002bachelor
    party    		 yesterday we threw a bachelor party for my friend magnus. he had to do some embarassing stuff downtown, then we played lasergame and went to this lakeside cottage were we skinny-dipped, had a bbq, and prayed for the groom. it was such a great time and we laughed ourselfes through the whole thing.
    good luck magnus&sara!
    13-aug-2002update
    (wow)    		 i've updated the music page on the site with new bands. check it out.
    13-aug-2002mixed stuff i wonder what impression ppl will get of me reading this start-page. i think i come off even wierder than i am. anyway since i got back from the states i've done some cool and fun things:
    dp2002 - music and arts extravaganza
    the dp-festival has an unbelievable mix of quality music in different genres, nice atmosphere and cool ppl. even more unbelievable is that despite the cheap price very few ppl show up. well i showed up and had a good time, the highlight being selfmindeads show, that kicked ass as usual. it was also nice to meet new ppl and just chill.
    camp
    80 ppl from my church, most of them teens, drove 3 hours south to långserums fritidsgård where we spent a fantastic week. we had good fellowship, splendid food, refreshing devotions and worship times. personally i had a really good time and it seems like everybody enjoyed themselves. god is good!
    the frizon festival
    after many hours of planning and arranging, the frizon festival finaly started at 7pm on the 8th of august. in less than three days it was over.
    i was responsible for all the scandinavian bands and the ticket-inspectors. i had a pretty stressful time and things didn't always go very good for me. ppl in general are very positive though and ppl have met god, which is the reason we do the festival, so we're satisfied!
    24-jul-2002back in sweden well now i'm back in sweden. the coming three weeks are very intense, but it'll work out one way or the other(one way=tradegy * other way=chaos) ;-)
    yeah, i guess that's it for now. a shout goes out to god for being so awesome!
    24-jul-2002america no.3 hey! i'm back in sweden writing this, first comes some west coast stories:
    i didn't have much time in san fransisco. i cruised around in the mission district, haight and checked out the super touristy fisherman's wharf. what's up with all american seaside cities rebuilding pier's to tourist areas with bad shopping, cheesy food and a plastic vibe? i guess the answer is typically american: money. well enough of bashing.
    san fransisco museum of modern arts (with alot of photography) was closed, just as the museum of modern arts in new york when i was there...that sucks pretty hard as i was stoked about checkin thoose places out.
    after san fransisco, the last place in california i graced with my presence was redding where i stayed ten hours (slept a good seven hours of thoose). then i went up north to olympia which is just south of seattle. there i stayed with a swedish family and one day i also went to seattle.
    the coolest thing on my trip has been hanging out with cool ppl. cornerstone festival was also cool but the coolest music experience was a show with sneaker pimps playing the legendary club 'the roxy' on sunset blvd, west hollywood. it was a really good show and probably the best live sound i've ever heard.
    the wierdest thing was staying at a freaky, dodgy, dirty, messy excuse for hostel in chicago called Fat Johnnies Last Resort Home Hostel. another really wierd thing was being hit on by several men. the most scary experience was on a downtown manhattan subway station @ 2am. this black guy came on to me really strong.
    15-jul-2002america
    no.2    		 hey, i'm writing this from pasadena, los angeles. the last days i've been exploring the socal beach-scene. first ocean beach in san diego and then venice beach and santa monica beach in los angeles.
    so while listening to new agers playing different kinds of tribal music, with the smell of pot in my nostrils, i've been watching the waves crash against the white sand in the light of a merciless sun together with tanned buff guys and girls that has had plastic surgery.
    well, no more beach for me...what i have left is all about cosmopolitan exploration; san fransico and seattle.
    08-jul-2002america
    no.1    		 okey. so i'm in nashville, tenesse in the united states of america. on the way here i did new york, chicago and cornerstone festival. i'm sure i'll upload some pictures later on. from nashville i'll probably go to dallas, san diego, los angeles, san fransisco and seattle before i place my feet on swedish ground again.
    -so what's america like?
    -well...it's a bunch of ppl in a country full of big things. some of the ppl are supercool, some are not so cool. the whole patriotism thing kinda bugs me.
    i'm going to the movies with some south african friends so this is it for now.
    19-jun-2002sick! i just caught a cold, right in time for my trip...hopefully i'll get well before the plane leaves...and don't take to seriously on the whining i've done a few posts down...i'm doing pretty okey.
    17-jun-2002unbelievable in a coupple of days i'll be in friggin america!
    17-jun-2002- yesterday i came back from hultsfredsfestivalen which was okey. i guess the concerts were good and all that...but i wasn't in the mood for being on a festival. thanx to my friends worldfarm, pet, stoff and stinan for putting up with me!
    10-jun-2002mr messy okey...i havn't written here for two+ weeks...i'm a bad boy. well...nothing and everything has happend since last time and i'm not sure i wanna write about it here...wrong, i am sure that i don't wanna write about it here.
    well life goes on and there's no reason to dwell on the past. work it through and move on. simple truth, hard reality. enough said.
    21-may-2002i don't
    think so    		 may i have some balanced, divine and refreshing rest without compromising with the truth and my drive to help people, please?
    21-may-2002sthlm yesterday i came back from a sleep-over in stockholm. i cleared some things about the frizon festival and i was also able to hang out with some new friends, marcus agemo (of lovetree) and his family, it was really great.
    before i returned i also met samuel grönlund (of pray records) and we had a really good time catching up, just chatting and praying for eachother. he's a fun guy!
    18-may-2002update i've made some updates on the following pages:
  • info
  • music
  • links (although there is tons more to add)
  • guestbook (new design)
    • 18-may-2002rockcafe for as little as 30 swedish kroners you have the chance to see four really good music performances 8pm on the 25th of may. come to filadelfiakyrkan in örebro, sweden and watch: coy(folk inspired pop/rock), ehc(house), amphibro(hard riff-based music) and michal(singer/songwriter). be there!
    16-may-2002matrix watch a cool matrix reload & matrix revolution trailer. both movies (matrix 2 & 3) will come out in 2003, probably may and november...can't wait!
    16-may-2002blindside if you hurry up you might be able to snatch a song of the upcoming blindside release "silence" due to the 20th of august. just go to www.blindside-silence.com and sign up for the newsletter and you'll be transfered to a site where you can download an mp3-track called "caught a glimpse" from the aformentioned album. i don't know for how long this offer will last, so hurry!
    9-may-2002osudvfpzsi man i'm so looking forward to this summer. the thing is that i both long for relaxation and activity. and hopefully it will be a mix...but probably more activity, after all we're talking about mr restless.
    i have two months off and i hope to just chill in the beginning. then i'll celebrate friends gradutions before taking off to hultsfredsfestivalen. i hope to move this summer and before i take off for the states later in late june i think i'll pack my stuff.
    when i'm in the states i'll travel around by greyhound bus. new york, chicago, cornerstone festival, san diego, tijuana, los angeles, san fransisco, seattle and vancover...or something like that. then i'll probably fly to oslo and the wonderful dp arts&music festival. after that work starts with a summer camp followed by the frizon festival that i help out with.
    yeah...that's how my summer's gonna look like, if i get to live and god allowing. i hope to take tons of photos, see tons of bands (if you sum the four festivals i'm attending they have has 550 artists performing), meet alot of cool ppl, see some wierd stuff in wierd america and chill with god.
    9-may-2002frustration discipline, why are you so absent in my life?
    5-may-2002music
    extravaganza    		 okey, so i went to this festival called ungkraft (swedish only) in jkpg/sweden yesterday. to be honest i didn't have high expectations. but man...i saw and heard things that totally blew me away. it was better than i had expected overall, but the night had two stand-out performances:
  • the first band caught me totally off guard. it was the guys in min pappa är starkare än kungen (swedish only) that rocked out like crazy with energy and passion matching my current faves at the drive-in.
  • but the band of the night, no competition, was lampshade from denmark that totally blew me away. really good emotional rock (not to be pinholed 'emo'), vibrant and athmospheric live performance, superb lyrics, great attitude...but most of all an unmatched voice embodied in the innocently cute rebekkamaria. my first thought was that her voice had simularites with björk's, who i am a big fan of. after the show i have to say that she surpasses björk in my book. this band has been called 'the hope for danish music' and agree that this band has great things waiting in the future. thank you lampshade for your creativity and dedication to the creator! i am your devout supporter!
    • 1-may-2002music P.O.D.'s new single 'boom' has just arrived on the american MTV show TRL. the video which is so cool features the guys in blindside, an awesome swedish band. in the video the two bands meet in a table-tennis and the whole video ends up with a big fight, it's pretty funny! download the zipped video (30 MB) from videopimp.
    rumours has it that blindside is on the verge of getting some fat stuff going over in the states...and they're now on elektra records website as their artists. elektra also hosts artists as: AC/DC, björk, dream theatre, pantera, staind, tracy chapman, metallica, the cure etc. man, this is huge!
    27-apr-2002hair okey...so e-man has shaved his head and it looks like this...can i go back to doing something important?
    26-apr-2002i don't
    get it    		 whutta heck is happening? am i becoming some sort of cover-boy and representative for young christendom in sweden? ...crazy
    the last thing is that i'm on the cover for this new "street bible" where i'm telling a bit of my lifestory. it's this "give away"-bible with ppl's lifestories and the new testament in modern language. it's all so wierd...who am i to have "a name" and "a face" that is recognized by ppl that i don't know.
    okey i'm a little dramatic...but god, keep me humble in all of this crazy stuff.
    26-apr-2002random everything is has happenings fast now, so i just have to fasten my seatbelt and endure/enjoy the ride. but most of what's happening is really good and i'm enjoying the spring weather.
    17-apr-2002frizon the preparations for frizon festival are in full spin. you're gonna be there right?
    17-apr-2002fame i was in the local newspaper yesterday. check it out! (in swedish only)
    11-apr-2002sweet spring it's so nice with some spring weather, the temperature in sweden actually climbed over 10 degrees celcius today...awesome!
    08-apr-2002sweet summer summer plans are not nailed yet, but it looks like it will involve lots of music and festivals...also some time in the states...we'll see what happends.
    08-apr-2002music silver played two nights ago in örebro and did an awesome job!
    08-apr-2002sitenews i've edited most pages; added, updated and removed. i've also customised a cgi-bin guestbook that looks okey and works fine...so go sign it!
    21-mar-2002finally finally my new site is up and running. i'm happy but not fully satisfied. i'll keep updating, adding photos and links etc. hopefully i will also change guestbooks to a guestbook i can run myself and customize.
    i need sleep!
    14-mar-2002stupidity man! i just got a major revelation! man! this is just so stupid and right now i'm laughing my guts out!
    two months ago i wrote that i was suprised i had so many visitors per day. you know what i just remembered...that i set my website as the start-page at some friends computer and they havn't changed it. so they're boosting the counter with a few hits a day...i better change it to some other site instead. man...i'm just so stupid...
    14-mar-2002music i just saw extol and selfmindead and they really rock! they're both releasing new albums later this year!
    14-mar-2002hair my hair is now dark brown. here's a pic...as if you care.
    14-mar-2002grrrr okey...so you ask yourself why this dude never updates? and where the heck is this new domain and webiste he's talking about? well i suck...but so does my new webhost which nerver updates their DNS-servers.
    22-feb-2002hair in 1 hour my hair will be dyed dark brown...as if you care.
    22-feb-2002music on the 2nd of march filla will host rockcafe. it's an all night event with threee bands playing. here are the facts:
    venue: filadelfiakyrkan, slottsgatan 16, örebro, sweden
    date&time: 2march2002, doors open at 20:00
    bands: saving blue, the beautiful silence, firestone
    entrance: 30kr
    SPREAD THE WORD AND BE THERE!
    22-feb-2002music plastic pride has decided to part. although it's a shame, you never know what might come out of it. janne, johannes och thomas is reportedly working on a new band. the sound will be darker than plastic pride, towards neurosis' sound.
    10-feb-2002domain yep...e-man remains true to his rumour...to never be on time. the domain is indeed registered...the problem is linking the domain with the ip at the webhost through a dns. get it?
    well...hopefully the new site will come soon. i won't do much updating until the new site is up and running.
    10-feb-2002domain i've registered a new domain and anytime now i'll put up a slightly retouched website at the new adress. so come back and check that out!
    10-feb-2002dakkfoai
    update    		 dakkfoai did very well although they were so sick they almost passed out at the end of the show. yay for the emo-bois!
    08-feb-2002dakkfoai dakkfoai will play at a local club called 'cafe on the rock' tomorrow night. the place will sell out in no-time so come early. also pray for john and staffan in the band, they're sick at the moment.
    08-feb-2002silly boi *drumroll* the olympic games starts today. who's exited? i'm not.
    07-feb-2002minor
    disaster    		 tonight when i dyed some clothes in the washing machine the whole floor was flooded with water. black water since i dyed the clothes black. i'm just about to clean up the mess but at least the clothes turned really black so i guess it's all good.
    07-feb-2002music
    in örebro    		 rockcafe in filla, örebro is coming along nicely. the 2nd of march we'll have a blasting night with three cool bands. i'll get back with more info.
    07-feb-2002frustration ...but less and in another way.
    29-jan-2002frustration why can't i make up my mind!
    27-jan-2002sistas yesterday i visted my wonderful sisters hanna and ida-marie! it was really cool just meeting them and checking out ther homes and different realities. hanna works in a church and ida-marie studies basic art (or something like that) which involves photography, painting...and other creative stuff that i don't know the english words for, but just can't be bothered to check in a dictionary. anyways...my sisters are cool and i love them, although i might not always do my best in showing 'em that.
    27-jan-200224-7 well god is just an awesome dude. we've just finished our week of 24-7 prayer in filla-church and god just shows himself to be the guy who rocks the hardest.
    and it's not about some "be strong in yo'self" or any other "effort type" crap-stuff. it's all about understading that jesus loves you and can help you with your fucked-up self. so your shit and misery is the place where his help and forgivness comes right in, all this because of that he died for us! well enough of my ramblin!
    23-jan-2002photo i just got a new photo of myself up. it's a selfportrait taken with cable-release. i look really sloppy, but it's at least much more recent then my other pics of me on the site. so prepare for e-man with natural colored hair and lipring (as opposed to the pic in the menu on the lefthand side).
    21-jan-2002from the top
    of my mind    		 i just can't believe how much i love the brutality of hardcore and metalcore. it's wierd, but man i'm loving it!
    i shouldn't really be on the net typing this...i gotta get back to work, i'm doin' this article which i hope turn out good. they're paying me to do it, so it's not like i'm doin' this lil' fanzine article. it's all wierd, "e-man the freelancing journalist", well wherever god takes me. i'm so out of here!
    21-jan-2002random "hey boys, hey girls, superstar dj's...here we go" - that's the start of a really cool chemical brothers song...anyway we're doing a 24-7 prayer week in filla-church were i work, which is so cool.
    17-jan-2002i'm a
    wierdo    		 P.O.D.'s show was good, i can't be bothered to write more about it rite now. what really makes me think (which i shouldn't be doin, i should be flat on my face sleepin' like a baby.) well...anyway what's really wierd is that i've got so many visitors to my site lately(6-7 per day). it's probably all the girls that come here to see my handsome features [;-)] ...or not.
    well i really don't know why it's like that. sure thing is that i should be nice to you, all my precious visitors, and update more often. *falling asleep*
    11-jan-2002muzak P.O.D. is nominated for a grammy in the category: Best Hard Rock Performance for their song 'alive'. they've hit double platinum in the states (2 million units sold in the states) with their last cd 'satelite' and they're climbing the billboard list again.
    10-jan-2002mixed news well life is crusin by here in örebro, sweden. i'm free the comin weekend, so i'll probably take off to visit some friends somewhere in sweden. and on monday the 14th, i'm off to stockholm to see P.O.D..
    5-jan-2002oops it's a new year! i turn 23 this year...that's wierd. i know what i'll be working with this whole year(young ppl and computers in my church). but man, i think alot in my life will change although i know what i'll be working with. so yeah, it's gonna be intressting.
    25-dec-2001thanx christmas eve is over and i'm just back from a wonderful christmas night service in church. the pastor (bo "bosse" wettéus) was sitting in a chair "storytelling" the message of christmas: jesus came to the earth to save the screwed-up humans. that's me. i need you jesus.
    mia fogel, gustaf thörn, maria and frida augustsson did an awesome job with the music. gustaf played the saxophone with so much feeling it was scary.
    well christmas eve is over and i've once again i've had a nice christmas with gifts, food, traditions and nice stuff. but i don't give a shit for that compared to the awsome fact that jesus has walked this earth as a human and died for my sins. nothing can ever compare to that for me. jesus you're the best. thanx for everything!
    21-dec-2001chicano dude! i've just met this great guy called alfredo. he's a chicano (mexican living in the states)from east LA and he's here in sweden visiting a friend of mine that he met in australia.
    well this guy alfredo is so much fun. he's so laid back and a master of just chillin.
    21-dec-2001death shit! i lost the table-tennis game...but after christmas holidays i'll get that sucka!
    19-dec-2001death'n'life this is a special day, i've challenged my colleague, rickard thoursie, for a game of table-tennis...at 5pm our skills will collide in a furious duel.
    check back for a report of victory! ricke you're going down!
    19-dec-2001i'm done christmas is coming up...yesterday i bought the last christmas gifts, wrapped them all up and wrote cards for them all, including rhymes (swedish tradition). i love giving stuff away!
    19-dec-2001report yeah...forget to tell you about the show with blindside a week ago. it was good. they rock really hard live.
    12-dec-2001wierd one minute ago it was the 11th of december, now it's the 12th. time passes quickly, go get a banana!
    11-dec-2001flicks wanna go get some low-budget but still pretty cool music videos? (ok, not all are that cool) go to the video-page of tooth&nail and their sublabels. coolest is the video for blindside's "king of the closet".
    11-dec-2001same, same
    but different    		 i'm just back from welcoming rebecca jansson home from her time away. it was cool meetng her (and linnea göransson that also got home) although we didn't have time to talk or anything, it was cool just meeting her.
    10-dec-2001domain i'm looking into buying my own domain...i just need to find a cool name. suggestions are welcome: here. and no, worldfarm don't be ironic and suggest www.kickassproductions.com! ;-)
    10-dec-2001shameless
    advertising    		 it's not to late to get yourself signed up for the ultimate way to spend the new years holiday: nyarsexlosion.
    10-dec-2001music on the 12th i'm gonna go to skövde (small swedish town) and se blindside. it's gonna be sweet to see the boys for the first time after their us tour with P.O.D.. and yay! i'm gonna see both bands in stockholm the 14th of january.
    10-dec-2001random tomorrow a fried called rebecca jansson will come back after 11 months in south africa...it's gonna be so sweet to meet her again. she's a cool gurl!
    03-dec-2001muzac finally! after selling several millions of cd's in the states they'll be promoted worldwide! i'm talking about the fabulous guys in P.O.D.. i met them twice last year, both in nyc and on a festival outside chicago, il. they're awesome guys, down to earth but in love with god. and they make cool music.
    as one part of getting their name out they're doing a worldwide promo-tour. on the 14th of jan they're visiting sweden and stockholm. for tickets follow this link. but be fast as i'm sure that tickets will sellout fast!
    03-dec-2001yadayada i need to clean my room...long and thick snakes of dust are crawling under my bed, threatening to strangle me during my sleep. well not really but it's still pretty bad!
    03-dec-2001fantastico i listened to this awesome dude last night. his name is bruce olson and he's been working in south america with tribal indians, but not like some western colonizer. he's like one of them. i've read his book several times and it rocks almost as hard as hearing him live and direct.
    his just got some awesome stuff to say and the conclusion is that no matter where you live, no matter who you are, the creator loves you and want's to chill with you. it was way cool cause it made me fall in love with jesus more. so yeah...jesus is the bomb!
    03-dec-2001no stupid
    excuse    		 i suck! havn't updated in almost two months...i deserve a severe beating!
    10-oct-2001mobile i forgot to tell y'all that i got a new mobile. a brand new t39 from ericsson. it's so good. maybe cause i worked with devolping it almost a year while i was still with ericsson.
    10-oct-2001music i want to tell the world that deftones is a superb band. their fantastic ability of combining aggresitivity with melody is extravagant.
    or as you also might say: they rawk!
    10-oct-2001contemplation it's late at night and again i'm sitting by the computer. i suck! since i'm here i'd better write something more...
    27-sep-2001fact did you know that...the body has onehundredthousand billion cells. god is awesome!
    27-sep-2001music blindside will open for P.O.D. on their big us tour october-december.
    27-sep-2001connections this morning i took my friend jake to the trainstation where he took of back to australia. it's been great having him visit me and just hang out with him. to talk about god, life, music and girls...pretty much in that order. he's an awesome guy and i wish him the best back in perth!
    27-sep-2001impersonal yoko ono sings the blues revisited
    27-sep-2001personal i just came back from my superrelaxed and nice housegroup, some ppl were missing but we still had a really good time. i just wanted to make that known to the world.
    20-sep-2001i'm back wassup? sorry i've been really bad with updating this site (well it's free so you can't complain all that much ;-p ) and alot of things have happend since last time. although it's like less then a month it feels like ages ago.
    the tragic events in the states and everything connected with that has influenced alot the last coupple of weeks and i dunno what to say, alot have been said already...and what i want now is peace and forgivness.
    P.O.D. just released a new cd called "satelite" and it went up on the billboard charts like a rocket, selling gold the first week. they've also been ranked like #1 or #2 during the last coupple of weeks on american MTVs TRL with their video "alive".
    21-aug-2001read this P.O.D. just released the single "alive" from their up'n'coming cd "satelite". you can download it at videopimp. you can also vote for it on MTV in americas TRL.
    21-aug-2001show the show yesterday went well exept for some problems with the soundsystem, but all in all it went really well. thanx to all of you who came out and made it possible.
    19-aug-2001show well i just wanted to say hi to all the ppl visiting! i hope you find something intresting on the site (although it might take hard work ;-p). sometime i will update my linkpage and scan photos and increase the photo page...but for the next coupple of weeks or so all the update you can expect is updated news. well i guess that was it for now...well not really...dakkfoai participated in the finals of a local talentthingie (whatever they're called) yesterday. they did really well but didn't win, the local newspaper liked them though and made some advertisment about the show i'm setting up with them tommorow(see below)...now i'm finished.
    14-aug-2001show kickass entertainment (me) and samuel larsson (ex member of misprint) are setting up a show at the 20th of august in örebro, sweden. the utterly cool indieband buck will headline and opening for them will the up'n'coming band dakkfoai do.
    the show will be held at cafe on the rock and the entrance fee is only 30kr. it's an all ages show so just come and enjoy the music!
    14-aug-2001nice just got back from frizon...it feels strange that half a year of planning and praying ended in a four day festival. i'm tired but i don't wanna complain about beeing tired, busy and exhausted. it feels like that the only thing i'm doing here. and how much fun is that for you dear visitors, to read my whining? no fun at all!
    05-aug-2001nice man! all the ppl at the filla/långserum camp was awesome. i made alot of new friends and had so much fun. i'll see most of you during the fall so it's all good!
    05-aug-2001frustration gah! i've got all these photos i wanna scan...but i have no time and no scanner! it all sucks!
    05-aug-2001music rumours about an up and coming rockshow in örebro is spreading...stay tuned for the for some kickass action!
    05-aug-2001site i've been away for a week so i havn't been able to update the news section in a while. now i'm back and working my ass off preparing for frizon. so it might be that it'll take another week until i'll be back here updating the news!
    28-jul-2001nothing duh! i really wanna write something here...but i dunno what... i'm wierd!
    28-jul-2001sweden frizon is getting closer and it's gonna be big this year. with God's help we also hope that it will be better!
    28-jul-2001personal yesterday i met my friend karin cedersjö (the proomgirl on the photo-page), it was nice to meet her again as she's been abroad for awhile, she's awesome.
    23-jul-2001music e-man here back after a good dp-festival with nice ppl and first and foremost, kickass shows. best was, without a doubt, luti-kriss. they had the most intense liveshow i've ever seen and just blew the place away with their frenzy. an amazing live experience...and the young boys from across the ocean did it all tight despite their epeleptic-style-stage-performance. other notable bands where: blindside (who btw have a new 7" out), plastic pride, silence the foe, extol and many other great bands. so now the darkroom work has just started in order to develop the prints capturing these awesome shows.
    16-jul-2001music rumours has it that P.O.D.s new CD will be awesome. it's release date (at least for the states) is september the 11th. the blindside boys joined P.O.D. in the studio (for a coupple of days) as christian from blindside is doing guest vocals on the CD.
    15-jul-2001music the show yesterday with blindside and plastic pride was really awesome. blindside was fun and wild as always and plastic pride was just freakin amazing and totally kicked ass live! now i just need to catch up with myself and sleep alot!
    12-jul-2001music the show on saturday the 14th will hopefully draw it's crowd. blindside will draw it's voxpop and church crowd and plastic pride will make all the commu-rawkers crawl out of their caves. so if you wanna have a fun, energetic, beautiful and mad night, don't hesitate to show up at cafe on the rock, örebro, sweden at 9 pm.
    12-jul-2001personal i just had coffee with matilda, lisa and per. all are wonderful ppl and i had a great night. simple things like that is what keeps me going in this stinkin, dark and mad world.
    09-jul-2001misc hi! i'm back from frankfurt, germany and an intense but rewarding and fun weekend. best av all was meeting god and lots of cool ppl. for example andrea hetzel from germany that i had not seen for more than two years. also alot of cool swedish ppl that travelled in the same bus. to name a few: samuel of pray records and his girlfriend zofia, simon from the zealots and all the lovely ppl from the fantastic city of örebro!
    05-jul-2001music on the 14th of july kickass entertainment (i guess thats me) will set up an awesome show in örebro, sweden at cafe on the rock. at 9 pm two awesome bands will make their last show on their european tour.
    the bands are blindside and plastic pride. no drugs is allowed and therefore there is no age-limit. the price is very cheap, only 50 SEK.
    05-jul-2001personal man...in two hours i'm leaving for franfurt and germany. i'm going to this thing called emerge. it's gonna be fun and i'm going to meat andrea hetzel, an old friend of mine that i havn't met in more than two years!
    30-jun-2001sweden today is the last day to get cheap prices on the frizon entry passes. so go to the site and register now! yesterday a great band called the benjamin gate got added to the festival rooster, go check em out, they're awesome!
    30-jun-2001music/sweden saving blue (my friends olle, jerker and markus) had a releaseparty for their selftitled CD yesterday. they've got distro all over of sweden but stores might not have it in. so if you wanna get a hold of this singer-songwriter masterpiece just go to your recordstore and ask for it, and they will be able to get it for ya! saving blue will play at frizon later this summer.
    30-jun-2001personal word up! i'm back from a week of hard work and a week of recovering. now i only have one week of work left before i've got som vacation...nice!
    20-jun-2001personal/site the darkroom work went really fine except for some inevitable dust. this week i'll be busy working with a nearby summer conference as responsible for the security- and parkingpersonel. so check back in a week and i'll be back with news on the site!
    20-jun-2001personal/music mid-july is dp-festival, norway! no doubt!
    16-jun-2001personal woah...i slept two hours this afternoon, now my head is wack... but i'm gonna go to the darkroom and develop some prints.
    over-n-out
    15-jun-2001sweden/music a new band, accoustic misprint, was added to the frizon-site.
    12-jun-2001personal/site man i've been slack with updating this site...man i've been superslack. sorry 'bout that...can't promise improvment although i'll try to be better!
    12-jun-2001sweden frizon has a new design on their website and major updates on the program, go check it!
    21-may-2001sweden word on the street is that frizon soon will have a new design of their site.
    21-may-2001personal turning 22 didn't change my life a whole lot. of course i've recieved gifts and congratulations of different kinds which i'm very grateful for...but other then that it's pretty much the way it was before my b-day...not that i expected anything else but you could always hope for a portion of wisdom or maturity to somehow be added to yourself.
    16-may-2001music i just got my hands on two really good cd's.
    luti-kriss new album throwing myself is an awesome metalcore piece filled with passion and frenzy.
    silence the foe, a hardcore band from norway, just released their first cd, when summer turns to sand. it's a beauty with it's violent screaming and massive energy.
    14-may-2001personal oops! i've been absent for a little while but now i'm back with the intensions of updating this news page more often.
    i've also got plans to scan some more photos and put 'em so you all could see the wonderful shoots that my new camera produces.
    6-may-2001personal sigh! it's nice to sit down infront of the computer and relax. i've got a buttload of stuff to do, alot of nice ppl that i wanna meet and little time. or as we say in sweden: "fullt ös - medvetslös".
    4-may-2001music the death-metal band extol from norway recorded a new singel in a studio in västerås, sweden last week. man i'm looking forward to listening to it and finding out what peter espevoll (their lead singer) meant with "a new kinda sound" when he compared this singel to their album "undecieved".
    4-may-2001personal hey! life is hectic and wondeful, i'm doin things i like but it's really intense! that's why this page has not been updated the way i want it to be. sorry for that!
    29-apr-2001personal aaaah! i've cleaned out my room. it feels really good! i'm a messy little boy. but hopefully, with this new start, i can keep my stuff in order.
    peace, love and mountain dew to all my homies out there!
    27-apr-2001personal i love spring-time!
    26-apr-2001music/
    web    		 the fantastic swedish emoband marygold just got their new website up. designer is mr worldfarm himself.
    23-apr-2001site i added some links to the link-page.
    23-apr-2001music blindside & plastic pride european summer tour
    blindside will tour europe with plastic pride this summer (june & july). this is the first time blindside does a serious european tour so be sure not to miss it! if you are interested in booking a show with blindside somewhere in europe, this is your chance.
    please get in touch with our booking agency at this address and they will get back to you with date-proposals and further info: tomas@lotoma.com
    there is very little time so don't wait. the dates will be up as soon as the tour is fully booked. the tour is scheduled to start in mid-june.
    this is taken from blindsides offical website.
    23-apr-2001music blindside u.s. tour in the fall?
    blindside is looking at a u.s. tour this fall but nothing is yet confirmed, be sure to keep your eyes open for updates on this webpage.
    this is taken from blindsides offical website.
    22-apr-2001music/
    örebro    		 rockcafe went really well! we had 5 awesome bands who did 5 awesome shows infront of about 330 ppl so i'm happy!
    22-apr-2001personal man! i'm sleepdeprived and i've got so much to do. and i'm slacking in updating the site and adding news. i gotta sort my life out! it feels like i've gotta whole lot of stuff that i just "gotta do", well now i gotta go to bed!
    17-apr-2001personal dude...my life so busy right, i can't figure out how i'm gonna get through the next two weeks. it's all my own fault, i've kept pushing things ahead but it's soon deadline. if you have a spare minute, please pray for me that i'll be able to discipline myself. good night!
    15-apr-2001personal i love my new camera...as soon as i buy myself a scanner or get to borrow one, i'll put more pics up, tons more!
    15-apr-2001personal man, studying is so hard. i'm takin this evening course on the apostel paul. it's a really good course! the thing is i'm takin the course for something we in sweden call "points" that can be used in a degree. you have to do some extra essays and stuff and the problem is that i lack discipline, so now i've got two weeks left to do all this stuff. man, i'm such a idiot sometimes
    15-apr-2001site what a heck am i doing? i havn't updated the news in sevaral days! shame on me! well something needs to be done. *e-man slaps himself in the face* done!
    11-apr-2001music/
    örebro     		a new band just got added to rockcafe, so you get 5 bands for the price of 4. the band is called mammuth and hails from jönköping. they play rapcore in the vein of rage against the machine and i'm very much looking forward to their set.
    10-apr-2001music/
    örebro     		i've got news on two of the rockcafe (see the news of the 8th of april) bands! i had the oppurtunity to meet anna fogel (playing on rockcafe with her band) and i was given a cd-demo with five songs. it sounds really good! good songs, good voice and passion behind it all.
    another band playing rockcafe, dakkfoai, did their first studio recording yesterday and reportedly it went really good. mixing will be done in time for everyone to get their own copy on rockcafe!
    9-apr-2001sweden
    		 i'm terribly sorry but i've disinformed you! the tv-show vera (the show that replaced bullen) will not show the bobfest2001-thing today as i reported earlier! instead it will air on the 23rd of april, 19:30 at SVT2. I hope that's the truth. But think twice before you trust me again ;-)
    8-apr-2001music/
    örebro
    		 the artists for the ultimate event in örebro this spring has been confirmed. on the 21st of april the following acts will play at filadelfiakyrkans "rockcafe":
    a man carved in oak slowcore/sadcoreörebro
    anna fogel with band melancholic pianopopörebro
    dakkfoai emo/indie/rockörebro
    marygold emostockholm
    you buy tickets at the door and the doors open at 19:00. concerning all the great bands playing the tickets are ridiculously cheap, only 30 kronors. you gotta come!
    8-apr-2001music/
    sweden     		i had the oppurtunity to listen to savin blue's unreleased cd, it's gonna be released in may. it sounds really good!
    6-apr-2001sweden
    		 the tv-show vera (the show that replaced bullen) had two reporters on bobfest2001, a christian metal-festival a coupple of weeks ago. next monday, the 9th of april they're airing a little something about bobfest. so check vera out at 19:30 on monday the 9th.
    6-apr-2001music
    		 blindside just updated their website with some awesome news. they're releasing a 7" really soon. it's going to be released on structure, a sub-label to endtime productions. they also have an english translation of the song "nära" on the website after tons of requests. can't wait til i get my hands on the 7".
    3-apr-2001personal
    		 i did my first day at my new job today. it was nice to get started and get more of an idea what this next year will look like. we havn't set anything in stone yet but we've drawn some guidelines. both ricke at filla and erik at frizon are awesome people and i'm looking forward to my time with them.
    1-apr-2001personal
    		 there are so many awesome people around. i'm so thankful for my friends putting up with me. sorry for not telling you 'i love you' more.
    1-apr-2001personal
    		 i just heard awesome life-storys from two persons. they were in my church and they were talking in a very open way. both were from iran and they told us of broken lives, of torture and hate. but what they told us was not focused on the bad stuff that they've experienced. instead they talked about a deliverer and lover. jesus christ! it was so awesome to hear what cool stuff jesus have done. with their lives as a backdrops jesus christ was the being portrayed clearly. Jesus is way cool!
    30-mar-2001site
    		 i updated my info-page and my music-page.
    30-mar-2001personal
    		 man! some crazy stuff just happend to me. as i wrote earlier i'm quitting my job at ericsson...but when i signed the papers today, the last date was...today, earlier then i thought. yes!
    so i'm at work doing my last hours now...and next week i'll start workin at my homechurch, baptistförsamlingen filadelfia in örebro and the youthfestival called frizon. god is just the coolest dude around, he's got it all in his hands and he'll guide you if you submit to him!
    30-mar-2001music
    		 wow! i just found this band that sounds great! it's a popband from gävle, sweden. they've got a swedish page so i guess it's not all that intressting for all you non-swedes. i can't wait until i get my hands on their new demo. well go check isidor out.
    27-mar-2001personal/
    music    		 i forgot to tell you that i got my hands on two great albums on bobfest. it's zao's new self-titled cd and living sacrifice cd: the hammering process. neither of theese cd's have distro deals in sweden so the only chance to get em is import!
    26-mar-2001site
    		 i added some links to the link-page.
    25-mar-2001personal hi! i'm back from bobfest and i'm totally exhausted...on top of late nights, daylight savings kicked in last night and reduced my sleep even more. my new camera works just fine and i'll hopefully get some pics up soon. well that's it for now...i gotta go to bed. see ya!
    23-mar-2001personal another week of hard work ;-) is finished and in a few hours i'm in a car, together with my brand new camera, on my way to a musicfestival called bobfest. it's a small fest with some seminars and maybe 10 bands playing. it's a hard music festival so i've brought my earplugs.
    there my mission is to write an article and maybe some interviews. well i'll get back and update the site on the 25th. see ya!
    21-mar-2001personal today it was decided that i will leave my position on ericsson to pursue other things. the reason is that my factory is making a transition between different products. i will take part of something called the career & development program. this means that i will be able to develop myslef for one year with full payment in exchange for leaving ericsson.
    i've decided to develop myself in the area of youth-ministry. during this year i will split my time between my homechurch, baptistförsamlingen filadelfia in örebro and a youthfestival called frizon. i'm really stoked about this!
    21-mar-2001music/
    örebro    		 the date for rockcafe is changed. it will be in exactly one month, on the 21st of April. Come back for more info as time goes by.
    19-mar-2001music luti-kriss released their new cd on solid state records a coupple of days ago. it's called "throwing myself" and from the two demo-tracks i've heard it should be good. can't wait until i can get ahold of it!
    18-mar-2001site
    		 i removed the "send free sms" option since it was pretty useless and since hardly anyone used it.
    18-mar-2001music/
    sweden    		 the ung kraft festival just got it's website for this years fest up and running. one sad thing is that stavesacre is not able to show up as previously rumoured. but other then that it looks as if it's going to kick some major butt.
    18-mar-2001personal i just came home after an awesome meeting in my church. god is soooo good to us humans!
    18-mar-2001site i changed the pic in my guestbook.
    16-mar-2001site i fixed a broken link on the photo-page.
    16-mar-2001personal sup? i'm back from my trip to london!
    me and my friend jerker gunnarsmo had an awesome week including visiting tate modern art gallery, camden market and enjoying the musical starlight express. but better then that was meeting up with new and old friends. first we visited joseph sverker, sara johansson and sam hargreeves at london bible college. meeting them and other students there was much fun.
    then we went to hemel hempstead where we visited karin cedersjö and hanna ledstam doing a school called worldshapers. it was alot of fun, really intressting and also challenging. we had an awesome time with all the students but especially thoose at windmill road 56. a great thanx goes out to: karin, hanna, lotta, lene, klasse, magnus, bettan and malin.
    when development and scanning is done there will be some pics up from the trip!
    6-mar-2001personal tomorrow i take off for london. i'll be back on the 15th of march, so the coming week will be pretty slow here at my website. be sure to check back here after the 15th of march though, i'm sure i've got plenty of stuff for you then.
    6-mar-2001site i had some problems with my frames today, but that's fixed!
    6-mar-2001site i added some new links on the link-page.
    5-mar-2001site i've got some new pics and a somewhat new design on the photo-page
    4-mar-2001personal i just had a fun time with my long-time-no-see-friends from mullhyttan where i lived before, nice!!!
    4-mar-2001music/
    personal/
    örebro    		 word on the street is that a new industrial hardcore band is forming in örebro, what's really exiting is it looks as if i'm gonna be the singer! we still have to see how much my throat can take. other members are or has been involved in other bands such as: hendersson, dakkfoai, elastic house colaboration etc.
    4-mar-2001personal yay! i fixed the stinkin tire on the bike...now i only have to fix the gears...oh well
    2-mar-2001personal i'm leaving for london on the 7th of march. i'm gonna go there with jerker gunnarsmo from savin blue. we gonna visit some friends and just chill...it's gonna be so awesome!
    2-mar-2001music i've heard more reports on frizon records first release, a cd with savin blue. the reports sounds promising and i'm so looking forward to laying my hands on the cd.
    2-mar-2001personal dude i'm lazy...i still havn't fixed that bike...
    28-feb-2001music the norwegian punkrockers in silver is gaining momentum. their liveshow was rated 6 out of 6 in the norwegian newspaper "dagbladet". read the full review (in norwegian).
    28-feb-2001site the site just reached 200 hits and it's only been up 12 days. yay i'm happy!
    28-feb-2001music/
    örebro    		 we got issues with the date for rockcafé, stay tuned for updates...
    28-feb-2001personal dude...the coming spring looks super-intense...so please pray for me if you have an extra sec...
    27-feb-2001music zao released their new cd today. i've listened to a preview of the cd and i really like it. the rumors saying that zao is breaking up are not true.
    25-feb-2001music the guys from savin blue came out of the studio today after a little more then one week of intense recording. i'm so looking forward to hear the album when it is released. there is still mixing, mastering, layout and printing to be done, so we still have to wait awile before we can buy it.
    24-feb-2001örebro yay! i'm so happy, my travelstory got published in todays edition of nerikes allehanda. on the bottom of page 26 there is a story of the most hectic travelmemory i've ever had. for you who don't live in örebro, nerikes allehanda is the big local newspaper here.
    23-feb-2001music i found the video for blindsides rawkin song "king of the closet" on the net. so if you havn't seen it or if you wanna see it again, go check it out. and by the way, when they aired the video on the swedish tv-show "voxpop" it was shortened...but here it is the full version.
    22-feb-2001site the site has had more then 100 visitors in the last 48 hours! thanx all of you for visiting me. please sign my guestbook before you leave!
    22-feb-2001personal i just had some awesome friends over at my place: "gruppen som berör", you know who you are!
    22-feb-2001site i removed thoose anoying ads from the bottom of the page. they hardly payed anything and they were just in the way. so once again my site is non-commercial.
    21-feb-2001personal i had a really nice evening/night, first i met up with an old friend called karolina wettermark that i had not seen for a long time. after that i went straight to kalle; where kalle, nico and i talked the night away and ate popcorn. now it's 2 a.m. and my alarm goes off in less then 4 hours and then i have another day at work.
    21-feb-2001site i just changed to a better guestbook, i trasfered all the old entries to the new one.
    20-feb-2001site the site is growin fast...now you can send free sms (out of order).
    20-feb-2001sweden dude...the most phat, dope and awesome festival that sweden has ever experienced got a rawkin site up. so go check em out, da bois over at frizon.
    20-feb-2001örebro today, one day before the official opening, i had the opertunity to check the libris bookstore anual booksale. they got some great books and cds on sale. they've got tons of good stuff, this is just a small sample:
  • "den jesus jag aldrig känt" by philip yancey - 98kr
  • "söker du en gud som..." by bill hybels - 79kr
  • "a new way to be human" with switchfoot - 49kr
  • "at the barricades we fall" with selfmindead - 19kr
  • "frizon live" from the frizon festival - 99kr
  • many cds with keith green - 49kr
    • 20-feb-2001 sitethis site just got itself a guestbook, please sign it!
    19-feb-2001personal gotta new tire for the bike...still gotta put it on.
    18-feb-2001personal shoot! i got a flat tire on my bike, gotta fix it.
    17-feb-2001site the site just got some more links, but there's still tons more to be added. check back as i update the link-page continually.
    17-feb-2001personal the cold kept me home all day long, but that was kinda good cause i had time to clean and take care of other necessary but stinkin boring stuff.
    16-feb-2001site the page just went commercial with some ads at the bottom.
    16-feb-2001personal i played playstation for the first time in my life, dude that stuff is so much fun. i'll try to keep myself as far away from that as possible, otherways i'll get addicted ;-)
    16-feb-2001site i've added a counter to the menu-page.
    16-feb-2001music the amazing guys in savin blue entered the studio today in order to record their debut-cd.
    15-feb-2001personal i just caught a cold.
    14-feb-2001site the pictures are up, enjoy.
    14-feb-2001music/
    örebro    		 today it was decided that there will be another rockcafe in filla, örebro. the preliminary date is 12-may-2001.
    13-feb-2001music blindsides website brings us the good news that they're recording demos and that they will put soundfiles on the site soon. other news are that you can buy blindside t-shirts in a store in stockholm and that blindside is looking for venues to play on their forth-coming us-summertour.
    13-feb-2001music solid state records just released their compilation-cd: "this is solid state vol.2".
    12-feb-2001site wow, after several years of web-absense i finally have a personal homepage again, yay!

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